I'm Standing On Your Porch Screaming Out
by Heaven And Above
Summary: SB/RL slash, side JP/LE; The Marauders era, a warm and hopefully slightly amusing wolfstar fic.; Title credits: The Lumineers- Stubborn Love. I do not own Harry Potter, characters aren't mine, all rights go to J.K.Rowling. I do not own the image either... "For a smart guy, you're terribly dense; did you know that, Moons?"
1. How It All Began

I

His nails were digging into his palms in a way, that it nearly drew blood. Jaw clenched tightly, teeth gritted together, muscles tense. His eyes were burning with ager. The usually stormy grey orbs now looked like they were on fire and if you were to see them, you would only then understand, how exactly it was possible for grey color to look so lively.

"Sirius?" a voice interrupted the guy's inner turmoil, "You look like you're about to kill somebody."

"Maybe because I _am,_ indeed, about to kill somebody. Rip their little scrawny head off. Tear them to pieces. Slowly and painfully I will- " for James, who was used to a smooth sonorous sound coming out of his best friend's mouth, it was quite a surprise to hear those nasty roars of words.

"Hey, hey, I'm not usually one to say this, but easy boy, easy." James teasingly pretended to be talking to an overly exited dog.

Sirius' eyes darted to him, and he immediately regretted saying anything as he was hit with all the wrath behind them.

"No. No easy. I will rip her hands off and I will make sure she's in as much pain as possible, then I will-" Sirius returned to glaring at something on the other side of the common room (much to James' relief) and murmuring like crazy.

"Who are we talking about here, again?" James looked at the direction Sirius was glaring at, but couldn't manage to find the culprit who made the guy this angry, as the fireplace was surrounded by a lot of, mainly innocent looking, Gryffindors who were each indulged in their own business.

"That filthy snake, that pathetic excuse of a waste of space, that Slytherin loving little-"

"Name, please." Potter chuckled amused.

"Amanda Brown, who else that little-" Sirius spat out as if the name itself was burning his throat.

"And what exactly did she…" Upon saying those words he noticed a couple, cozily positioned near the fire on the ground. A girl, who was in fact, the aforementioned Amanda, sat there leaning her curly head on a certain bloke's shoulder. A certain werewolf bloke's shoulder, that is.

"Wow, when did this happen?" James allowed himself to whistle, "And just so you know, at this particular moment she doesn't look very Slytherin loving, if you catch my drift."

He, once again, got to regret opening his mouth gravely as Sirius grabbed the collar of his shirt and hissed spitefully.

"Say that again, I dare you." Grey eyes held all the ager in the world.

"She doesn't look very Slytherin loving, if you get what I mean." Being the fool that he was and had always been James, not only let his tongue go its way, before even thinking twice, but also wiggled his eyebrows.

Remus and Amanda's quiet conversation was suddenly interrupted by the sounds of shouting and destruction. Remus, being a smart little cookie he was, didn't even need to raise his eyes to know that it was the doing of those idiotic creatures he was supposed to call 'friends'. The guy sighed deeply and threw an apologetic glance at the girl, who was eyeing him confusedly, before standing up and making his way to the mess off two very, in his personal opinion, childlike looking boys, who were now rolling on the ground throwing fists at each other and shouting profanities, that no one else even knew existed.

"What do you think you're doing?" Remus said in his best head boy voice.

In the chaos of fighting his words, of course, went unnoticed. Remus was not in the mood to be unnoticed. He grabbed a handful of dark hair of the boy who was on top of the other, ready to punch one more time and pulled on it mercilessly, leaving the boy whining with pain. Nonetheless, it did stop the fighting.

"I said, what do you think you're doing?" He repeated calmly, while tugging on what turned out to be the locks of a particular Black family member.

"It's his fault! He hit me first!" Yelled James and tried to attack his enemy, while the latter was unable to move, only to find his own precious stack of hair cruelly abused by the other hand of the pissed of Remus.

"James, love, do I look like I care about who started this nonsense?" There was a really scary undertone in the werewolf's voice.

"No." James muttered obediently.

"And are you two interested in why exactly, I do not care about the –I'm sure fascinating- reason for this, or who started this?" Remus was sporting a sadistic smile as he pulled even harder on his friends' hair.

"Because you are too indulged in your little girlfriend over there." Sirius spat, keeping his eyes downcast.

For a moment that managed to throw Remus off guard, but he regained his postures almost instantly.

"Because physical or otherwise fighting, no matter the reason, is strictly prohibited on the school grounds, and who started it doesn't affect the fact that you both broke the school rules." He stated coldly, "Am I clear?"

"Yes." James said, but Sirius kept silent.

"Black?"

"Yes." Remus got a growl for response and released the boys immediately with a frown on his lips.

"Would you mind terribly, spending just one day, without getting yourselves in trouble." He murmured tiredly.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Sirius sighed and after turning away dramatically, left for the dorms, leaving the crowd of people, who were watching up until now and his two baffled friends behind.

"What was that?" Remus questioned James.

"Jealousy, my dear Moony. Sheer jealousy." Potter grinned at his mate.

"Huh?" The werewolf raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"Don't concern yourself with it for now. I don't think he gets it very well himself yet." He received a somewhat secretive smile in return. "You should get back to your lady friend, I'll take care of it."

Remus cheeks turned a light pink color.

"No fighting though." He warned his friend trying to hide his embarrassment. And yes, the big bad wolf got embarrassed from simply hearing words 'lady friend', even bad wolves can be shy.

"Wouldn't dream of it." James smirked and stalked off to the dorms.

II

"Why did you hit me?" James asked in a sing-sang voice. And everybody knows nothing good can come out of a sing-sang voice. Like ever. It's like a bad omen. And keeping in mind that it was Potter using it, the bad luck would surely be tripled.

"Ihhgdonghnow." He got a reply from his friend, who was currently laying face down on his bed, with his head buried deep in his pillow.

"Oh, but I didn't do anything to piss you off that much, now did I?" James continued as if the gurgle of an answer he got was perfectly clear. "And what was it about Amanda, huh? What did she do to you?"

"Nonnofghyouhrbughsinesgh."

"Oh, but it is my business, after all, I was the one, who got hit."James complained making his way to the bathroom but leaving the door open so that he could hear Sirius.

Sirius raised his head and glared at the direction James walked off to.

"Don't act like you didn't punch back, you bloody antler-head."

"Of course I did, I was given no choice." James returned and smirked at his friend obviously, trying to irk him. "Anyway, don't change the subject, what did Amanda do to get you this riled up?"

And to be truthful James didn't really need the answer he knew it already, it was just fun seeing his friend suffer a bit.

"She just… she's just stupid and dumb okay, I don't need a reason to dislike her!" Sirius argued, making quite good points… if you were to see him as an angry five year old.

"Real mature."

"Sod off, Potter."

"Someone's in denial." James sang and grinned.

"Huh?" Sirius asked dumfounded.

"Wait." James tilted his head to one side. "Don't tell me you're still at that point where you're in denial about being in denial."

"Huh?"

"Oh, sweet Merlin."

III

While James was trying to explain Sirius the way everything works in his head right now (and doing a quite marvelous job, mind you), Remus was being cornered by the very same Amanda Brown in some dark classroom. He couldn't decide what felt more wrong wandering the castle in the middle of the night, without the usual Marauder company by his side, or being ripped off of his clothes, piece at a time. As Amanda reached some particular area Remus certainly didn't want _her _hand to touch, our dear werewolf friend suddenly made up his mind.

IV

While James was trying to explain Sirius the inner workings of his mind and Amanda was trying to undo the last button of Remus' pants, Severus was peeping on the werewolf and his so called 'lady friend'. Oh, Snivellus, has nobody ever told you, you're supposed to keep that overly long nose of your out off other people's business.

V

While James was trying to explain Sirius the inner workings of his mind, Amanda was trying to undo the last button of Remus' pants and our greasy friend Severus was peeping, Peter was sleeping soundly in the corner of the Gryffindor common room. Lucky unconcerned bastard.


	2. How Everything Started Getting Crazy

I

"What happened to you girlfriend?" James asked his tired-as-hell looking friend the next morning at the breakfast table.

"What do you mean?"

Oh, Moony, playing innocent, aren't we?

Not his field, that was clear to everyone who knew Remus.

"Don't you pretend to be innocent, Moons." James shook his head, like a disappointed parent.

"I'm not. I really have no idea what you're talking about." Remus murmured holding up a cup of tea to his lips, looking as indignant as ever.

That illusion was ruined by a sobbing Amanda Brown walking by with a group of her friends, who, by the way, were throwing the nastiest of glares at the poor werewolf.

"Oh. Well, if you say so." Potter laughed, as Remus caught Amanda's eyes and started choking on his tea and turning beet red.

After regaining his breath Remus threw an angry look in James direction.

"We broke up." He explained eventually.

"No way!" James mustered years' worth of sarcasm and put it behind this very phrase.

"Shut it, Prongs!" The werewolf boy frowned and focused all of his attention to the hot beverage in his hands trying to ignore the power of the burning fury stabbing his back. The kind of fury, which could only be summoned by a group of raging females.

Oh, they could glare all they wanted.

"Tell me what happened." Potter nagged on further.

"Not going to." Remus shook his head slightly.

"Well, I can always ask Amanda." James looked at the crying girl, sitting as far from them as the table allowed her to.

"NO!" Remus perked up suddenly grabbing his friend's robe as if to stop him from moving.

II

Sirius refused to get out of bed, wondering if someone would notice his absence if he didn't come for breakfast. It would e nice if _someone _noticed. Yes, indeed, it would be very nice. _Someone._

Sirius thought about his talk with James last night. In denial about being in denial, huh?

James thought he knew everything, when in fact he was quite clueless. Well, no surprise there. Sirius was not in denial. He came to terms with his feelings good two years ago, though, truth be told, it hardly made anything easier.

The Potter boy was also wrong about whom these feelings were for. Sirius had no idea how the guy came to conclusion that he was in love with Amanda bloody Brown. Come on now, he clearly stated he wanted to rip her head off, didn't he?

A heavy sigh rippled through his chest. Anger from yesterday was gone. Instead it was replaced by very unpleasant bitterness. The kind that makes your heart feel as if it is about to stop any second now and your eyes water.

Sirius had no idea why, but when he saw a particular _someone_ come back to the dorms in the middle of the night with disheveled sweaty hair, loose tie and miss-buttoned shirt, all of his jealousy (at least one thing James had been right about), anger and frustration turned into this pathetic helplessness.

He didn't even feel as if he had the right to feel this way. And that was, what sucked the most. He couldn't scream or cry or beat somebody up for making him feel like this. Because it was not his place. He had no one to blame, but himself.

Because how stupid must you be to fall in love with your very male, very (as it was clear from yesterday's night) straight best friend?

III

Severus Snape was hardly someone, who knew, that some lines should not be crossed.

"Hello, Lupin." He greeted the guy with that all-knowing kind off smirk, while leaning on the wall outside the Great Hall.

James eyed Severus with a clear distaste.

"What do you want, Greasy -head?" Potter snarled standing in between Snape and Remus.

"Oh me? Nothing, nothing at all." Snivellus answered nonchalantly, but his eyes were on the werewolf boy as if to taunt him.

James stepped forwards in a way that Remus was no longer visible from Severus' point of view.

"Just bidding a friendly 'hello'" The latter smiled venomously.

James' eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he turned back to look at his friend as if to ask what was going on. Remus only shrugged his shoulders, having no idea himself, and stepped out of James' shadow.

"How was your night, Lupin?" our long-nosed friend asked coldly once he could catch the lycanthrope's eyes once again.

The wheels were slowly starting to spin in the little smart cookie's head as he answered with feigned friendliness .

"Marvelous. And yours, Severus?"

"Interesting, to say the least."

Those mocking streaks in Snape's voice only helped Remus formulate a certain suspicion of what exactly was going on here.

"Glad to hear that." He smiled stepping closer and pushing James to the side a bit.

"By the way, where's the rest of your little gang?" Severus looked around.

"None of your business." Remus answered with his dangerous head boy undertone.

Truthfully, Peter was still pigging out on the pancakes and Sirius had yet to roll out of bed.

"I suppose not." Snape brushed it off and gave Remus another nasty contemptuous look.

"Anything else you would like to say, Severus, or you're here just to look at me as if you knew something us, mortals, were not aware of?" the werewolf asked, growing short of patience. He had a pretty good idea about what put that smirk on the greasy-haired boy's mouth and he didn't like it one bit.

James glanced at his friend surprised. Was it just him or had Remus been behaving way out of character for these couple last weeks?

"You know, I heard a very fascinating conversation last night." Snape stood up straight and raised one of his not-so-elegant eyebrows.

"Really? Was I a part of the conversation?" Remus' voice was calm, but it held a well hidden challenge within it.

"I believe you were participating, yes." Severus' voice turned almost malicious now.

"Oh. I see."

"So. May I just ask, Lupin, do your…friends… know?" The greasy-head spit out the word 'friends' as if it was physically painful for him to use it.

"Let's get one thing clear, Severus." Remus stepped a bit closer and crossed his arms, with a superior look on his face, "I only said, what I said, to get rid of her. You shouldn't get your hopes up."

It took Snivellus a bit of time to get the subtle hint in the werewolf's sentence, but once he did his face went red with fury.

"What hopes are you talking about?! You filthy shirt lifter!" He was screamed at the top of his lungs and suddenly there was a wand pointed at our lycanthrope friend. "You dirty…"

"What did he call you just now?"

Remus' hand with his wand froze in mid air as he turned around to see two pairs of shocked eyes staring at him. One pair obviously belonged to James and the other was one of a very tired looking Sirius standing there with messy hair, untidy clothes and an expression as if he had just seen a ghost.


	3. How About Nada

I

Remus smiled calmly.

"Morning, Sirius."

Sirius eyes bulged out at his nonchalant friend.

"Anyway, Severus, as I said before, you're obviously misinterpreting the situation, therefore you should think again, before you call me names." The werewolf boy pointed his wand at an overly long nose. "I only said, what I said so her feelings didn't get hurt."

"Sure, Lupin, and Potter is going to marry Evans someday and have ten children." Snape let out a sarcastic remark.

"By the way, Severus, have you nothing better to do, than to spend your time stalking other people?" A timid smirk crossed Remus' face.

"I was not stalking, you bloody-!" Severus wand shot up higher.

"Break it up, boys." Professor Slughorn appeared out of nowhere between them and the guys froze for a second, before slowly putting their wands away. "Now, I'm gonna let it slide this once, but if I see something similar to this again…" The professor gave Severus and Remus a, what he most probably considered to be, strict look, before simply walking off.

"Come on." James put his hand on Remus' shoulder and caught his eyes.

The werewolf sent an annoyed look in Snape's direction, but turned around and walked away, with his two friends following closely behind.

Sirius watched a frown on Remus' lips and the crease between his eyebrows. He tried to make sense of what he just saw, but he honestly couldn't come up with a possible answer. Once they were surely out of Snivellus' hearing range Sirius stopped abruptly, making the two others stop too and look at him.

"What the hell just happened?"

"Yeah actually, I was wondering that too… Moony?" James looked at Remus.

Remus shifted uncomfortably under their gazes.

"Uh… well last night…I was with Amanda and we… uhm were snogging, if you could put it that way…" The werewolf's face turned red and Sirius felt an uneasy thump in his chest. Sure, the information wasn't exactly something new, but hearing it out loud was somehow different.

"Yeah, I heard you come back at about three o'clock" James collaborated usefully.

"And I sort off saw someone by the door, as it turns out it was Snape." Remus shrugged inspecting the ceiling.

"Aaaaand?" James asked.

"Well, I kind of, sort of didn't feel it was right and, uhm told her that I made a mistake…"

"You broke up with her?!" Sirius shouted before he could control himself. A small flicker of hope was born in the back of his mind suddenly.

"Oh, yeah, you missed that part, they broke up, you should have seen her today at breakfast!" James intervened with a smug smile on his face.

Remus threw him an accusing look.

"Basically, she started crying and so I might've blurted out that I was gay, so she would stop." He finished quickly, almost slurring some words.

"You what?!" Yelled Sirius and James at the same time.

"I panicked, okay?!" Remus cried defensively.

"So you just said you're gay?! Just like that?! Are you bloody stupid?!" James said with disbelief in his heightened voice.

"Well…yeah." Lycanthrope bowed his head blushing.

"Are you?" Sirius asked, obviously tense. His voice sounded forced out and uneven even to his own ear, but you have to understand, he needed, _almost physically needed_ to know.

"Am I what?" Remus eyes shot up.

Sirius averted his gaze to the side and stuffed his hand into his pockets.

"Are you really gay?"

James' jaw fell open. Remus went rigid.

"No." he choked out.

Sirius bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to yell at his friend, to tell him that people didn't simply say things like that, if they didn't mean it. Also, our dear Padfoot, felt all kinds of stupid for getting his hopes up for no reason. However, he swallowed every unneeded feeling.

"Oh."

Well, at least he tried to.

"Anyways," James said looking weird at Sirius, "Why would you even break up with her? I mean, come on, she's far from a bad catch."

"I just don't see her that way." Remus shrugged.

"I get it, you like someone else!" James smiled suggestively.

"I don't."

"Yes, you do!"

"Don't you think it's for me to decide?"

"You do! Oh and is that the reason you've been acting weird recently?"

"I'm not acting weird, James."

"Yes, you are!"

"I'm going… to the library." Sirius interrupted and turned around quickly before stalking off with his eyes on the ground.

"Sirius?" Remus called out.

"Don't bother." James said.

"Huh? But he's going to the library. Sirius never goes to the library!"

"Yeah, it's just… Let it go for now, kay?"

II

"So," James said, after he had finally found Sirius in the Owlery, "You could've found a better place to hide."

"Not in the mood, James." Sirius murmured in a monotone.

"Too bad." James shrugged and sat down beside his best friend, "You know, I was convinced you'd be jumping with joy right about now."

Sirius glanced skeptically at James.

"Sorry to disappoint, Prongs."

"I don't get it, she's single- you can go after her now."

"For the hundredth time, Potter, I don't like her!" Sirius screamed out frustrated.

"Just admit it already!"

Sirius just sighed and gave up.

"Shouldn't you be chasing Evans' skirt or something?"

"And leave you here to wallow in self pity for no reason?" James looked offended.

"Yes, please."

III

"Have you seen James?" Peter asked Lily after getting back to the common room.

"Do I look like a person who concerns themselves with the whereabouts of Potter?" She retorted almost indignantly.

"What about Sirius then?" Peter tried again only to be answered with a cold glare. "Ookay…" he muttered discouraged, "Remus?" he tried one more time.

Evans' expression softened.

"Sorry, Peter. However if you find him, could you please tell him I wanted to talk?"

Peter had to spend his day wandering around alone.

IV

Sirius, however, spent his day trying to get rid of the ever-nagging James. It was almost midnight by the time Sirius managed to run away to some random classroom and hide.

"I swear I'm going to kill him someday." He muttered sliding down the wall.

"Who's there?" He heard a very familiar voice call out from the dark.

"Moony? What the….?" Once Sirius eyes adjusted to the dark he saw a very weird looking Remus staring at him with wide innocent eyes and pout on his lips… wait was that a bottle of firewhiskey in his hand?!

"Pads? That you?" The werewolf boy let out something in between a slur and a hiccup.

Dear Merlin, Sirius' precious head boy was… no he couldn't be…

"Jesus, are you drunk?"

A reasonable question keeping in mind the situation.

"I'm not Jesus, Padfoot, I'm your friend, Remus."

He was drunk! Remus Lupin was drunk! The apocalypse was coming!

Sirius blinked a few times to make sure his eyes were not playing any kind of tricks.

"You're drunk!"

A quite reasonable statement.

"That…that…that I am!" Remus started laughing as if he had just said the funniest thing anyone has ever heard.

Sirius looked at his friend puzzled. Suddenly, he noticed flushed cheeks and heavy pants of breath coming out of slightly parted lips. And how the top of Moony's shirt was unbuttoned and showed a fair amount of smooth skin. And how a small drop of sweat was running down his neck slowly, almost teasingly all the way down to his chest, only to disappear behind the shirt.

Sirius swallowed a big gulp of air hesitantly.

"You should probably give me that." Sirius reached out to take the bottle from the drunken guy, who had clearly had enough for one night.

"Hm?" Remus murmured confused, but then noticed an evil hand coming forward to his very best friend of tonight and stumbled to get away. "Mine!" He snapped at the vile being, trying to steal that wonderful beverage.

"Give it to me." Sirius tried again almost lying down on Moony to reach the bottle in the outstretched hand.

"Noooo!" Lycanthrope cried dramatically once the whiskey was finally in the thief's hands. He launched himself at Sirius straddling him and pushing him full on to the ground in the process.

So there Padfoot was. Under his friend with every inch of their bodies pressed together. It was an… interesting position. He couldn't move - his body wouldn't listen. All he could do was lie there and feel the warmth of Remus' body everywhere all at once. It was hard. Lying there, I mean. Or maybe something else.

"Gotcha!" Remus screamed victoriously and tore the bottle out of Sirius' claws. He leaned on his arms, so their bodies were at least a few centimeters apart and looked down at Padfoot.

"Not nice, bad boy!" He barked, or more like slurred, at a stunned Sirius before taking a sip from the bottle and bringing his eyes back to him again. "You're pretty!" Remus exclaimed in a voice of a little kid, who's just seen a rainbow.

V

That night as he dragged Remus Lupin to bed, Sirius decided he had way more self control than he would've ever imagined. For one, Remus was still dressed and, believe me when I say, that was a huge achievement on Sirius' restraint's part.

"What's up with you lately?" Sirius murmured more to himself than to his half-conscious friend, "Girls, fights with Snivellus, drinking…" He shook his head disbelievingly while taking off the werewolf's shoes and socks.

"Lonely. I'm lo-nely." The unexpected hiccup startled Padfood, who wasn't expecting an answer. "Everybody have someone which likes them, I don't." Considering the amount of drink Remus had downed (Sirius had found three empty bottles of firewhiskey), the grammar had to go sooner or later. "So Amanda asked me, and I was like: 'better than nada'"

"Who's Nada?" Sirius asked confused, "And anyways,_ I_ like you Moony."

"Not the same." He got a whine in return.

Sirius sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He had used up a year's worth of restraint overnight.

"I guess I won't do, huh?"

Silence.

"You know Moons, I really do like you. Like a lot. As in, head over heels, you could say." Sirius suddenly felt so beaten down, the words flowed out off his mouth on their own, "I really, really do. If you just… I if you just were okay with me feeling this way it would be more than enough. I don't ask for much, honestly." He hurried to add.

Silence. A bit more silence. And then his heartfelt confession was greeted by a quiet snore.

Sirius found the situation so tragically funny, he couldn't stop the chuckles coming out of his mouth.

"For a smart guy, you're terribly dense; did you know that, Moons?"


	4. How Lily Got Herself Into This Mess

A/N:Thank you so much, for those who reviewed, favorited and followed! It means the world to me! Really!

* * *

I

The following week everything went back to normal. More or less. After a day of enormous headaches Remus was up and well on his feet. Needless to say he didn't remember much of what happened Saturday. He also swore to himself not to drink again. Ever. Other than that Remus was completely okay.

Meanwhile, Sirius was far from happy. Having spent Sunday looking after his very hung-over friend, he was facing mixed feelings, which left him in between being glad and disappointed that a particular werewolf chose to fall asleep at a certain time. 'Could've, might've, but didn't' around in his head again and again.

This whole thing did do some good though. For one, Remus seemed to be, at least temporarily, back to his usual head boy self. Oh and Sirius had come to realize something- sulking, worrying, and dramatizing got you nowhere.

Good for you, Padfoot.

II

"Oh yeah, that reminds me, Peter told me you wanted to talk?" Lupin looked up at Lily from the D.A.D.A essay they've been working on together. The library was even quieter than usually, they were the only people left here, as the others were off to watch a match of Quidditch between Hufflepuff and Slytherin.

"Yeah." She looked uneasy, "So about what happened with Amanda…"

"Oh, about that." Remus said and his cheeks turned slightly pink.

"Um… Remus, are you okay?" Lily asked hesitantly as if she felt it was not her place to wonder.

"I'm fine, Lily, no matter what you heard, you shouldn't take it to heart." The werewolf tried to catch her green eyes with his serious golden ones.

"It's just… you… I've heard something from the girls and just so you know, they're spreading it around." Evans looked seriously uncomfortable now. She was looking everywhere but at him.

"I'm not gay, Lily," Remus laughed as he finally understood the reason she looked so awkward.

"Oh." Her eyes shot to his, "But still, it wouldn't matter. To me, that is. We're friends, whatever happens."

He froze. The words seemed familiar. They touched something inside him and he suddenly felt very warm.

"Thank you." He smiled and Lily stared at him in awe. It was rare to see that kind of sincere smile on his lips. "I'm not though,"

"Oh, well then, they are a bunch of rumor spreading - "

"It's okay, I don't really care about what they have to say." He interrupted her and his eyes were shining gently.

Lily Evans couldn't help it. She honestly couldn't. Her heart sped up and she felt heat spread through her cheeks. Now before you hurry into false conclusions, it was not like she had a crush on the boy. It's just… after summer he came back, having grown a couple of inches and his hair was now longer and bleached by the sun, giving it those little blonde streaks. And his melted-gold eyes looked even more solemn, if it was possible. And sometimes he had this calm, protective aura around him, which just made you feel so warm and safe. It wasn't as though he was the most handsome lad around (however he was good looking, no one could argue), it was just _something special._

But, Merlin, of course she wasn't the only one, who had noticed! If Remus were to look into it just a bit more, he would see longing stares of girls (and not only) and carefully placed flirty smiles. But, of course, Lupin, being Lupin, he was almost unreachable, therefore, when Amanda dared to openly ask him out and (Oh dear!) he agreed, there were a lot of surprised and disappointed students around.

When they broke up, a day later, Lily seemed to be the only one to find it strange. Girls were fussing about how 'they knew it', 'and that is why'. Saying, what he had said, he gave them a justification, doesn't matter if false, of why he wasn't interested.

If that went on, Remus would be titled as 'gay' for the rest of this school year and she didn't like the idea of her friend, being a victim of labels.

"Moony!" The comfortable silence was interrupted by, in Lily's opinion, the second most obnoxious voice in Hogwarts' history. "Moony, why are you studying at a time like this?!"

A terribly exited Sirius Black rushed in, with outside clothes, fresh sparkles of rain in his hair and a big grin on his face.

"Padfoot?" Remus smiled.

Suddenly, Sirius stopped and took in the atmosphere. He glanced quickly between Evans and his friend. Lily swore she saw the corners of Sirius' mouth tilt downwards slightly.

"Pads?"

"Oh, uhm… Hufflepuff won! They won!" He returned to grinning madly in just an instant. He suddenly grabbed his werewolf friend by the hand and dragged him out, the latter stumbling behind.

As Lily noticed Sirius look before leaving, she reckoned, that must have been the nastiest glare anyone had given her in her life. She sat there with wide eyes. To Sirius' misfortune (or maybe fortune) Evans did not fall under the category of _dense_ people. A suspicion was born.

III

On their way to the common room, Sirius had to fight himself not to dramatize everything once again.

"What were you and Evans talking about?" he asked as calmly as he managed.

"Well, apparently, I'm now known as a shirt lifter among girls." Remus shrugged.

Sirius glanced sideways at his mate. His heart gave out a painful thump.

"You don't really seem to be- "

"I'm not. I don't consider it to be a tragedy. I've been called things that are actually offensive; some school-girl rumors about my sexuality are far from the end of the world, Sirius." Remus turned to look at Sirius' and he saw amused glints flash in the werewolf's eyes, "Besides, I brought it upon myself, now, haven't I?"

Sirius found himself smiling softly.

IV

Sirius watched Remus sleep on the couch by the fire, in a pile of books. And felt creepy doing so.

V

Lily watched the boys cuddled up cozily, both sleeping soundly, from around the corner. She saw the way Sirius' arms managed to twine around Remus' torso, even though his lower half was on the ground, making his body shift in a very uncomfortable looking way. She saw how Sirius rubbed his nose deeper into the head boy's chest with a deep sigh from time to time. And how Sirius hands clung to the boy's robe so tightly, his knuckles turned white. She also saw the book lying next to Remus' head, which gave her inkling that the guy had fallen asleep studying and knew not of the Sirius' presence next to him.

"Evans, it's not very nice to spy on people, but you knew that already, didn't you?" A whisper in her ear made her jump and almost let out a shriek, but a hand on her mouth stopped it.

"Potter?" She murmured shaking his hand off, "What are you-?"

"No, what are _you_ doing here?" James interrupted and a shiver ran down Lily's spine. His tone was cold and that was highly unusual, when he was talking to her.

"I was just-" She started and for the very first time from coming to Hogwarts she wished James' eyes would just soften already, like they always did, when they were on her.

"Just… It has got _nothing _to do with you, leave it." He stepped back and put his hands in his pockets, then motioned with his head towards the girl dormitory.

"Wha-…What do you mean it has nothing to do with me?! He… he is my friend!" She whisper-yelled, the weird tension between her and Potter and the feeling of being left out of something getting to her.

"Is he? And how about Sirius?" James eyes were void of any emotion, "I said, leave it."

"What is this? You don't trust me?" She said accusingly.

"_I'm _in love with you, Evans, I thought I was clear about that. But this time it's not _my_ place to trust or not to trust." Potter's gaze darted towards the sleeping boys, "And _he _is not _your friend, _therefore leave it."

"I- "

James didn't even listen. He turned around and walked away after sparing one last look at his friends.

Lily felt surreal. This was simply all too weird.

" 'Evans', huh?"

VI

Peter was dreaming of Christmas. Christmas dinner to be exact. Not one clue of James sneaking back into the room, murmuring all kinds of curse words, some of which not even Potter himself knew the meaning of.


	5. How Do You Feel About Robert Jorkins

I

"Good morning, Remus." Robert Jorkins smirked confidently looking at our werewolf friend. "Mind if I join?" He gestured to the space next to Remus at the breakfast table.

The latter, quite surprised to be torn away from his book, shrugged his shoulders staring at the guy confusedly.

"What are you reading?" Robert smiled seemingly oblivious to the shocked stares of the other three Marauders and sat down with one leg on each side of the bench.

"Uhm…" Remus stared at the green eyes looking for the reason the two of them were talking in the first place, seeing as this had hardly occurred before. "Just looking into today's Potions' topic."

"Cool." Robert nodded and leaned on the table with a laid back attitude. "Though you barely need to, right? Being at the top of the class and all." He said, looking at Remus intently, which didn't really go well with the way he was holding himself.

"Potions is my worst subject." Remus replied simply.

"And still you're doing pretty well at it. I'm honestly jealous of your intelligence."

"Not really… I mean, I-…" Remus muttered thrown off guard.

Robert smiled at him encouragingly.

"I would ask you to tutor me, but I know I'm a lost cause." He chuckled and sat up straight, this way inching closer to Remus.

"Everything is just a question of the amount of effort you put in it." Remus replied kind heartedly.

"That's a nice thing to believe." Robert's eyes twinkled earnestly.

There was something unusual about the way that guy was looking at Remus. The werewolf tried to place that look, but the best he could come up with was 'something fairly similar to admiration'.

"Well- " Sirius' voice rang over them unexpectedly, making Robert jump slightly, "That's _our _Moony for you."

Anyone could hear the not so slight emphasis on the word 'our' and while it wasn't exactly what Sirius wanted to say, it sure got the message across perfectly.

Stormy grey eyes captured the green ones in a challenging glare. Remus felt as if he was sitting between two wild dogs, baring their teeth all of a sudden. Which was highly ironic.

"Ah, _Sirius Black_, yes?" Robert's voice suddenly got an unfriendly undertone in it.

Sirius gave a short nod and they clashed stares once again.

James watched the scene unfold before his eyes, thoroughly amused.

"Anyways… I was wondering, maybe, you would like to go with me- " Robert brought his eyes back to Remus.

"He wouldn't." Sirius interjected angrily.

"That's for him to decide." Robert shot back, not even bothering to avert his eyes away from the poor confused Remus, "As I was saying, maybe-"

"He won't." Sirius growled standing up.

"What are you-"

Wands were raised.

"He doesn't even swing that way!"

"That's not what I heard!"

II

"James?" Remus muttered on their way to class from the hospital wing, where they left bloody nosed Sirius and now purple eyed Robert.

"Yes, Moony?" James replied.

"What just happened?"

"Jealousy, sheer jealousy." Potter shrugged with that mysterious little smile on his lips.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Moons, but I never really expected you to be this popular."

III

"I demand an explanation!" Evans practiced to herself walking the empty hallways on her head girl duty.

"Huh?" Remus appeared in front of her with a baffled look on his face.

"Nothing, just talking to myself!" Lily murmured quickly, her cheeks reddening a little.

"Oh," Remus said, but she could see an amused little smile play on the corners of his mouth.

"So… Have you maybe possibly seen James somewhere around?" She asked, as he started walking beside her.

Remus stopped dead in his tracks. His mouth opened as he gaped at her.

"What?" She murmured consciously.

"Have I seen _James _around?" He repeated slowly.

"Well yeah, that's what I said." Lily nodded seriously.

"Uh…" Stunned, Remus was lost for words, "Yeah, he's most probably with Sirius at the hospital wing."

"I'll be going then." She gave him a thankful smile before practically _skipping_ off.

Remus watched Evans' retreating back wondering if he had heard her right and she really was going to see _James._

"What the…"

IV

"I can't believe you let him give you a concussion. A concussion, mate!" James shook his head disapprovingly.

"Yeah, James, I _let _him. Willingly. Honestly?" Sirius rolled his eyes sarcastically, while lying in a hospital bed, eating a chocolate frog.

"I mean, come on, just a measly Hufflepuff, you should really be ashamed." Potter let out an exasperated sigh.

"Sod off, Prongs, won't happen again. Next time, he'll be out, before he can say 'help'." Sirius huffed.

"Next time?" James eyes got those mysterious glints in them.

"Yeah, you don't expect me to let him get away with this, do you?" Sirius looked at his friend sitting on the bed next to his.

"Get away with hitting you?" Potter placed his question smartly.

"No, get away with…yeah, with hitting me." Sirius hoped his hesitance went unnoticed, but of course it didn't. Lucky for him, James pretended it did.

"Anyways, I really don't get one thing." James said looking into the distance.

"Hm?"

"Why did you get so angry in the first place?" James' stare suddenly pierced Sirius.

And for a moment Sirius could've sworn that James knew than he let on, but almost immediately he brushed it off, because that was simply impossible, right?

"Uh… I just… that bloke was like hitting on Remus, doesn't it bother you even one bit?" Sirius almost cringed at his own words.

"Oh? Is that, what this is about? My my my, I never would've taken you for a homophobe, Padfoot." James shook his head appearing disappointed, though in reality he hadn't had this much fun n a long time.

"I'm not, but… I mean…" Sirius tried to find words to defend himself, but his mind couldn't come up with an excuse, which was careful and vague enough to not give anything away.

"_I,_" James said loudly, "for example, would be totally fine with it. Not that Remus is, apparently, as he denies it, but if he were… so to say, gay, I couldn't care less."

No Potter's words weren't really directed at Remus Lupin at the moment. He stole a glance of Sirius and saw him staring at his hands apprehensively.

"Yeah, guess you're right. It would be a bit weird, if we accepted the fact that he is…well you know, but wouldn't accept the fact that he is gay. Theoretically speaking, of course." Sirius muttered under his breath, while feeling oddly happy about James' reaction.

"Of course." James nodded gravely, trying to hide a smile. "Padfoot?"

"Yeah?"

"...How's it going with Amanda?" James chuckled.

Sirius had to force himself to hold back a deep groan.

"I told you, I-"

"JAMES POTTER, I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!... Oh, hi Black." Evans stormed in with her red hair dancing around her determined green eyes.

V

Remus Lupin was strolling around the halls with his nose in a book, thinking that maybe, he should pay Sirius a visit later on. Not that he felt sorry for him, because obviously, it was his own fault, for getting into fights.

Sometimes Remus wondered, just how much easier his life would be if his friends tried to act mature for once, but then he'd realize that this way, it would be no fun at all.

Sirius usually didn't need many reasons for letting his fists get their way, but this time it was a bit weird even for him. Remus closed the book and rubbed the pitch of his nose, wishing everyone would stop acting weird already. Sirius and his moodiness, James and his looks as if he knew _something _and… just what was up with Evans today?

Remus wished he would be able to take a few weeks back himself and end all of this 'shirt lifter' mess. So Amanda was a mistake, but even Remus was allowed a few mistakes once in awhile, wasn't he?

As he saw Robert Jorkins making his way to him, with a patch over his left eye, Remus wished he could disappear, because he could already smell trouble, all the way from here.

VI

Peter was trying to write his Potion's essay, which was appointed to him earlier, as a punishment for almost blowing up the class, with his super skillfully made elixir. He grumbled and swore quietly at the book in front of him. Stupid professor Slughorn.


	6. How Something Clicked

I

Remus was hiding behind a statue. He was almost afraid to breath and tried to stay as still as possible. His amber eyes carefully looked around to see whether the danger has passed or not.

"What are you doing?" A whisper in his ear made his heart stop and he turned around swiftly.

"Sirius," He hissed, "I thought you were still in hospital,"

"Nope, kicked me out early, something about lessons and stuff." Sirius shrugged and breathed out looking down at their bodies, which were at most a few centimeters apart.

"Hm." Remus murmured and turned back around searching for something with his eyes.

"So what are you doing?" Sirius chuckled amused at his friend's slumped shoulders and tightly pressed lips.

"Jorkins, I'm avoiding Jorkins." The werewolf murmured distractedly and Sirius wondered if he noticed that while talking he backed up a bit and his back was now pressed along Sirius' torso.

"Oh?" Sirius smiled, "And why is that?"

"I can't… I mean, he's been following me around and he is for some reason convinced that if I say no, it means maybe and maybe means yes and… oh Merlin, he's annoying… I mean I'm sure he's a good guy, it's just that he's not my ty-… what am I even saying! I'm simply not gay… he is seriously getting to me and… AH!" Remus finished his rambling with a frustrated groan making Sirius chuckle at his flushed cheeks and wide eyes.

Sirius let himself think for a moment that this was nice- the way Remus' body leaned on him unintentionally and the way the boy was grumbling angrily about that stupid little Robert Jorkins. He felt special, in a way, because no matter how annoying Sirius might have been sometimes, Remus never avoided him, instead he would kindly endure it all with that small patient smile on his lips, the one nobody else could ever pull off.

"Remus?" Robert called appearing from around the corner looking all flushed, as if he had just run a mile, "Reeemus?"

"You _literally_ ran away from him?" Sirius choked on his laughter disbelieving.

"Shh." Remus let out a desperate whimper and suddenly they were pressed together, face to face, with Remus hand on Sirius' mouth.

Their eyes locked and Sirius felt his heart start doing leaps.

Golden orbs tore themselves away from the grey ones and Remus turned his head to check whether they have been noticed.

"Reeeeeemuuuuuuuuuuus!" Sirius heard that bloody Hufflepuff holler, but this time it sounded farther away.

The werewolf let out a relieved sigh and his whole body slumped against Sirius'.

"Close one." He muttered and before Sirius knew it Remus' forehead was resting tiredly on his shoulder.

He felt so grateful for Remus' fingers on his lips, because he knew that if they weren't were he might just have blurted out something unneeded. Sirius stood there with blood pounding furiously in his ears and his skin feeling as if it was electrified. Heart refusing to slow down. Mouth dry. His own hands shaking and legs trembling. Eyes closed in expectancy of the other boy not noticing all the emotions running through them.

"Sorry!" Remus eyes darted up suddenly and he jumped away from Sirius releasing his mouth.

"It's o-" Sirius tried to say, but cringed painfully at his voice cracking in the middle of the word.

Their eyes locked again. Something clicked. Sirius felt for sure as if something clicked between them. The intensity of their gaze was almost unbearable, but they both kept staring as if their lives depended on it.

Sirius bit the inside of his cheek and heard Remus' breath hitch slightly.

"Uh…I umm…We should go… uh… don't wanna be late…yeah…" The werewolf turned away abruptly, stumbling out into the hallway clumsily.

It took Sirius a couple of moments to calm himself enough to follow and when he did the red color on Remus' cheeks, though not quite as intense as, Sirius reckoned, the one his own face probably sported, let our dear Padfoot hope, that maybe, just maybe, by some accident Remus felt that _something click_ between them too.

"Uhm, Moony, I think we need to go the opposite direction…"Sirius forced out of his mouth, when he finally remembered they were supposed to have Herbology first.

"I knew that," Remus shot back defensively and turned made a one-hundred-eighty degrees turn.

II

James watched his friends that day as everything seemed to fall out of their hands, when around each other and quick secret glances were exchanged. He was genuinely interested in what may have caused the general awkwardness, which you could almost see radiating around them.

"What happened?" James asked Remus, as he dropped the quill for the third time that lesson.

"Hm?" His friend hummed distractedly, before returning to furiously scribbling down the notes.

"What's up with you and Sirius today, I mean?" Potter chuckled at Remus' nervous behavior.

"Well…" Moony contemplated it for a while, "Nothing." He answered honestly and actually looked quite relieved to say that, as if he concluded something important. "Nothing." He smiled to himself.

James however realized that he had made a mistake by asking. You see, Moony was obviously on a verge of making a revelation, that was clear, but now Potter had his uneasy feeling about Remus' just writing whatever happened today off.

"Yeah, well you've _both_ been acting kind of weird."

"It's nothing."

"Oh."

James frowned as the uneasy feeling heightened.

III

"Prongs, get your girlfriend off by back, she's been bothering me since you ran away from her after she came to the hospital wing." Sirius complained, having just get rid of Lily Evans and her nagging about 'Where's Potter', 'Need to talk to him'.

"She has?" James felt strangely happy about that. "If I had known that it was that easy to get her to start chasing me, I would've done that a long time ago." He smirked leaning back in the chair of the library, which was, dare I say, ingenious, because no logically thinking person would ever even try looking for James Potter in a library, which made this a perfect place to hide. "By the way, _Sirius_, what are _you _doing in the library?"

"What is it you did to her anyways? Me? I'm just… nothing." But James noted the way Sirius' eyes darted to the golden eyed boy sitting in the corner, practically buried in books.

"Well that was simple, Padfoot, I think, I actually _was mean_ to Evans."

Sirius gasped as if James had just spoken the unspeakable, which he had really.

"Mean?"

"Mean."James confirmed.

And an idea started forming in Sirius conscious' darkest corners. An idea which was hardly right like Sirius should have realized, because it was a well known fact that ideas that came from James Potter rarely ended up well.

"So why are you hiding now?" Sirius was smart enough to see a bit off a flaw in this.

"Lily is scary when she's mad." James murmured pouting like a two-year old.

IV

"Remus!" Robert Jorkins fell out of the blue right in front of our beloved werewolf, when he exited the library.

You see, Remus was told by some Hufflepuff girls that Jorkins was in a quiditch practice and hoped to slide back into the Gryffindor common room, before it was over, thus avoiding the possible encounter. Clearly, Remus' sources were mistaken about the timetables of the, as it turns out, one of the most fussed about boys of their house.

"Hi," Remus replied hesitantly, looking around hopelessly for any possible salvation.

"So, about that date-"

"Look, Robert, I know that you are a-"

"But if you gave me just one chan-"

"No, I don't think-"

"But it's just this one li-"

"That's not such a good idea-"

"But really-"

"I _don't like boys_!" The aggravation-inflicted scream flew from Remus' mouth, before he could possibly even consider doing anything to stop them.

The people in the hallway turned their heads to them.

Sirius who was just leaving the library to follow Remus froze.

V

"Well at least the rumor problem is fixed." Said James amused by his very embarrassed looking friend.

"Well…yeah." Remus agreed.

"One question remains unanswered though," Peter mumbled.

"Hm?" The other two looked at him questioningly.

"Why is Sirius sulking in the corner all by himself?"

"Very good observation, dear Warmtail, a very good observation indeed…" James nodded wisely. "Yo, Pads?!" He called out to Sirius, who was currently sitting on the ground with a frown on his lips, "What crawled up your rear end and died?"

"Nothing." Sirius replied with a huff.

"I thought the rumors bothered you, I quote: 'He doesn't swing that way'. Said to Robert Jorkins yesterday at breakfast." Potter fixed his glasses looking and sounding all business like.

"That's when I thought… And then…never mind." The sulky dark aura around Sirius deepened and he pouted, much like James usually did, when things with Lily weren't going right.

Yes, something must have definitely happened today, James thought and looked over to the confused-as-ever Remus.

VI

Peter thought he knew what was going on. And maybe he did. But if James didn't say anything, Peter was surely not going to either.


	7. How To Come Out From Under a Blanket

I

"Sirius, you're at it again." James complained quietly on a sunny Saturday afternoon, watching Sirius sulk silently in the corner of their dorm, where the light did not reach.

"But it clicked."

"Padfoot?"

"It clicked I tell you!" Sirius almost sobbed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Pads, you know I love you and all, but you're kind of scaring me right now." James took a step closer to his friend carefully, as if trying not to unleash the Kraken.

"James, can I tell you a secret?" Sirius looked up at the Potter boy with shiny eyes and sad expression.

"Sirius?" James felt his heart stop momentarily. Was he going to…?

"I saw it. He felt it click to."

What the bloody hell had clicked in Sirius' brain?

II

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMUUUUU UUUUUUSSSSSSSS!" James yell interrupted the silence of the library.

"Uh, James, can you-" Remus raised his eyes from the parchment and looked at James together with a couple Gryffindor girls sitting next to him.

"No, no I cannot." He grabbed Remus' collar and started dragging him out into the hallway. Somewhere halfway to the Gryffindor common room, Remus stopped struggling and trying to ask his very determined looking friend what was going on.

"You." James growled, "You broke my favorite toy. Now you're going to fix him." He said when they reached the dorm and threw Moony inside muttering a door locking spell after him.

"Prongs?" Remus asked the closed door, but no answer came.

"Moony?" The lump in Sirius' bed whispered.

"Sirius?" He answered and reached his into his pocket only to find that James had somehow managed to steal his wand.

"Remus?" The lump whispered again.

"Pads?"

"Remy-kins?"

"Uhhh…Black?" He asked getting as far away from the lump with seemingly depressing aura radiating all around it.

"Remy, I'm sad." The thing whispered sweetly.

"Yeah, I got that." Remus murmured to himself, utterly puzzled by his friend's behavior.

"I'm terribly sad." Sirius voice repeated vulnerably.

"Why are you sad, Sirius?" Remus tried, deciding that it was safe for him to take a few steps towards Padfoot's bed.

"I just am." He got a sigh of an answer.

"Well…" Remus thought, trying to figure out a way to end this situation, "What do I do to make you un-sad?"

"Click." Sirius suddenly sat up throwing his blanket off his upper body and his grey eyes with dark circles under them looked into Remus' golden ones.

"Sorry?" The werewolf boy cocked his head to the side slightly.

"Click."

"Okay… and how exactly am I supposed to…um… _click?_" he asked, desperately wishing for a short moment for his friends to be normal.

"Just click." Sirius explained as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"I'm sorry, Pads, I'm afraid I don't know how." Remus replied as if talking to a little kid.

"Forget it." Sirius muttered dejectedly and fell back, covering his face once again.

"Yeah, stop sulking and I'll forget it." Remus frowned agitated.

"As if you care." The boy's tone was almost angry.

"Quite the contrary, I do, Padfoot." The lycanthrope said annoyed.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Sirius' mocking voice answered.

"Sirius, I don't know what's gotten into you, but it's either you tell me or stop acting like this. I cannot read minds and so you being bitter without even telling me why you're angry will get us nowhere." Remus tried to use the voice of reason, not really expecting for it to work.

"I'm not angry with you." A stubborn voice replied.

"Well, I'm glad. Who are you angry with then?" the head boy rubbed the pitch of his nose trying to stop the upcoming headache.

"It."

"It what?"

"It for not clicking." Sirius whined.

Remus was sure he _didn't even want to try to possibly find out_ about the whole Clicking thing.

"Why don't you make it click?" He chuckled deciding to humor his friend.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not me who has to make it click. It clicked for me, okay?!" Sirius yelled angrily making the other boy shake his head, seriously doubting his right mind.

"Okay…" Remus, who was used to his friend's strange ways by now, only smiled patiently.

"Moony?" Suddenly the voice coming from under the blankets became much gentler.

"Yes, Padfoot?" Remus asked and came to sit down on James' bed, which was beside Sirius'.

"Would you hate me?"

"Would I hate you?"

"Yes, would you hate me if I told you?" Sirius' voice sounded crippled and therefore made Remus flinch.

"If you told me what, Pads?" It was a fairly slim chance for this to work.

"I can't tell you, I'm afraid you'll hate me." Sirius huffed and the air rose the blanket where his face was supposed to be.

"Did you spill ink all over my books again?" Remus smiled softly but made himself sound serious, knowing that Padfoot couldn't see him.

"No." Came a short answer. "Something worse."

"Are my books harmed in any way?" The lycanthrope teen guessed once more.

"No, it has nothing to do with your belongings, Moony." Sirius said as if it was obvious.

"Okay then. If my belongings are fine and I am not in any way going to be harmed by this either, then no, Padfoot, I wouldn't hate you, whatever it is." Remus said, knowing that there were very little things in this world that could possibly make him hate Sirius.

"Do you promise?" The blanket asked.

"Well, I can't really promise, without knowing what it is, Sirius, please be reasonable."

"I guess you're right."

"You could just tell me." Remus suggested raising an eyebrow and leaning back on his hands.

"I can't, I'm afraid."

"Am I going to find out eventually?" the head boy questioned.

"I don't know… yes, probably." The blanket moved, indicating Sirius' nodding head.

"Well then. You should do it now."

"Why?"

"Well, for one, you already told me there is something and I'm just going to get more and more curious."

A heavy undecided silence took place. Remus could practically see Sirius' doubts and hesitation.

"Can you promise to try really hard not to hate me?" a hoarse voice asked.

"I promise." This was ridiculous, he didn't need to promise that.

"If you do hate me, can you promise not to tell anyone else about this?"

"Sirius, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to hate you."

"Just promise."

"… I promise… but-"

"No. Mean it."

"Sirius," Remus sighed deeply feeling concern run down his spine. This thing that previously looked as yet another one of Sirius' antics was getting a bit more worrisome than he would've have liked for it to be, "I promise" He said nonetheless.

"Okay."

"Okay."

"It's just-"

"Sirius, would you mind getting that stupid thing out off your face first?"

"Can't it stay?"

"I suppose." The lycanthrope gave in.

"So. It's just… that I might… possibly be, uh… not…"

"Not what, Pads?"

"Into girls. Not into girls."

Remus Lupin was one of those people who had seen a lot of things in their life. He was rarely left speechless anymore. But this did it. For the first time in a very long while his brain refused to function.

Sirius peeked out from under the cloth discretely watching his mate's reaction. Nothing came. Moony was simply staring ahead with empty eyes.

"Moons?"

"So what you're saying is you're … gay."Remus found his breath.

"Yes." Sirius nodded wishing to take his words back but knowing full well that it was too late for that.

"Oh."

"Moony, you promised." Sirius murmured desperately, while weighing his friend's cold response.

Remus' eyes cleared up as he took in Sirius' frightful expression.

"Oh."

"Really, Moony? Please, could you say something else?"

"Uh."

"Not much better." Sirius complained.

"I…"

"Yes?"

"Well, I'm offended." Remus came up with a conclusion crossing his arms over his chest and looking accusingly at his friend.

Sirius shot up from the bed quickly looking a bit frantic and ready to flee.

"How could you, Padfoot? How could you possibly think I was going to hate you for something like this?" Remus muttered and turned his nose up.

"So you don't?" Sirius asked for reassurance.

"Of course not, you idiot." Moony stated calmly.

"Really?"

"Really."

"You scared me." Sirius whispered and slumped down next to him leaning his head against his shoulder. He looked exhausted.

"Yeah, well you scared _me._"

"Sorry." Sirius didn't even bother to argue, he felt too lightheaded for that, his heart rate finally slowing.

"So this is what you've been so depressed about lately?" Remus asked, glancing at the visibly relieved bloke.

"Kind of." Sirius hesitated.

"There's more." It was a statement.

"Yeah, well it mostly comes down to this in the end."

Sirius didn't know whether this was a lie or not. He did, however, think that even this much of confessions were more than enough for today, especially since they were not planned in the first place.

Remus didn't ask any more questions either, silently proud of his friend for coming out of the clo- from under the blanket.

"Hey, let's not tell James for a bit, okay?"

"Why not, Pads?"

"He'd be a smartass about it."

III

James frowned at the door feeling left out. Of course he had been eavesdropping, this was after all James we were talking about. He knew this was inevitable. But still. He felt as if his importance and significance in his two best friends' lives just dropped a little bit. He knew it was silly of him. And selfish. Those two were going to realize what's been in front of them sooner or later and when it happens he will not be a part of it. But then again, they will be happy and in the end… maybe in the end it will be worth it. No, it will be worth it for sure. And they're always going to be friends. Nothing's going to change that.


	8. How To Observe And Be Observed

A/N: Just so you know, I have absolutely nothing against Hufflepuff. Everything that is said is the characters' opinions, not mine. And even so those opnions might be a bit... biased :D Just thought I'd get that out of the way. Also, thank You for reading! Special thanks to those who take time to review and favorite! You guys are great!

I

"James, why are you running away every time you see me?" Evans cornered the poor boy after Potions, "And don't think I haven't noticed." Her voice was oozing with calmness but James knew better than to trust that tone.

"Uh, Lily, dear, I really have to go now." He muttered pleading Peter for help with his eyes. Peter glanced at Lily scared and shook his head slightly. Traitor.

"It's either I talk about this with you or I go to Remus, your choice." She shrugged turning around and examining her nails.

"No. Don't. We'll talk." James gave in and Peter took it as his queue to leave.

Once the short round faced boy disappeared behind the corner Lily raised an eyebrow.

"Talk." Her manner annoyed and attracted the Potter boy at the very same time, making him curse his teenage hormones for acting up at all the wrong times.

"What?" He asked innocently, challenge clear in his eyes.

"Sirius is in love with Remus, Remus has no idea and is straight and _you _are trying to get them together, that much I know. Anything I'm missing?" She asked with a small self-satisfied smirk on the corner of her lips.

"Excuse me?" James said outraged, "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." He turned around stubbornly and crossed his arms against his slightly puffed chest.

"But you do, you do indeed." She pressed on.

"Lily," Suddenly the stubbornness left James' figure as his shoulders slumped and he turned around to look at the girl with serious shining eyes, "I honestly don't think it's any of your business."

Unlike their last argument, this time James' voice was a lot more gentle as if it physically hurt him to deny her something. Actually it almost did.

"What are you talking about, of course it's my business, they're my friends too." Lily's eyes suddenly flashed with defiance.

"I suppose Remus is, but for one it's not only Remus we're talking about and also you don't… Even if… Look it's a bit more complicated than just that, okay?" James' voice was practically begging to leave it alone.

"What? What is so complicated? The situation is what it is. Remus will get over his imaginary attraction to girls sometime in the near future and they'll live happily ever after. Voila! I simply want to help." Lily tried to convince the boy in front of her by gesticulating crazily with her arms.

"It's not… There are more problems here than just that, okay? Sirius has problems and Remus has even more. Not my place to tell you about them, but just know that they do. It's far more fragile than you might think- than I thought in the beginning." James sighed and ran a hand through his ever-messy hair.

"Problems shmoblems, they'll get over them. Remus will, he's smarter than that." Lily snorted as if James had just said some personal insult.

"What are you-…wait by any chance has Remus…"

"He has. He told me, okay? And I'm not stupid enough not to have noticed on my own. I mean as if _Moony_ was not obvious enough."She pursed her lips indignantly.

"Oh,"

"Yeah, oh."

"Then you do realize that Remus is not going to just-" James felt strange. Apparently Lily and Remus' friendship was a bit deeper than he had thought. Why was it that suddenly Remus seemed do far away?

"I understand. But that's what makes it so perfect. A person who already knows. Who knows and accepts him." Lily smiled brightly. She really did care for her friend, probably more than anyone.

"I guess." James murmured that uneasy feeling still running down his spine.

"James?" Evans frowned watching as the dark haired guy in front of her quieted down without warning.

"Uh," He seemed to snap out of it, "Then… There's still Sirius and his insecurities."

"Sirius Black? Insecurities? Are you sure we're talking about the same person here?" Lily laughed disbelievingly.

"Oh hardy har har." James glared at her accusingly.

"Okay sorry, sorry." She shook her head understanding his serious mood.

"I mean-… Anyways, I would have expected you to disapprove of Sirius. You know- your precious Remus and everything." James noted.

"At first I didn't like it one bit, but then… maybe it's just different this time. Maybe Sirius means it. It's not just someone it's _Moony_," She used their nickname remembering Sirius calling Remus that time after time, "I doubt that Sirius would dare touch _that_ if he didn't mean it."

James watched Lily in awe. Her green eyes shone softly as she talked about his friends. He had lost all hope in Lily ever coming around, but there she was- and Sirius was no longer Black, said with a distaste clear in her voice, no, he was Sirius. And so the need to protect disappeared. It was okay. They were okay.

"So what I'm hearing is you believe, that this time Sirius is actually seri-" He started highly amused.

"Don't. Don't even go there, James." The soft green stare turned into a glare in an instant.

"Well, love, I couldn't miss the opportunity." He laughed.

"Anyways, yes, Black is not so bad, I guess."She fixed her robes, "I am convinced that even he couldn't fake _that._"

James' eyes flashed with some kind of emotion. She saw _that _and yet_ this_, even though he had said it so clearly the last time, _this_ went unnoticed.

"For a smart girl, you are terribly dense, did you know that, Lily?"

"Huh?"

"Nothing, nothing, I'm saying you can help."

II

"Remus," Robert somehow managed to pop out out of nowhere, just like always, with that overly cheerful smile on his face.

"Robert," Remus greeted him politely.

"So, I was wondering-"

"You just don't know when to stop." Sirius interjected, somehow now walking between them.

"Black."

"Jorkins."

Their eyes clashed and Remus, feeling a storm coming up tried to diffuse the tension as quickly as possible.

"Look, Robert, I'll catch you later, we're really late for class." He said quickly, dragging Sirius away by his arm.

Sirius let him. The hand on his inner elbow was enough to make him forget about wanting to punch that snotty little Hufflepuff. Well, almost enough.

"We're not late, are we?" Sirius asked dumbly.

"No, I just don't have the energy for breaking up fights today." Remus shrugged letting go. Sirius held in a whine at the loss of contact.

"Oh. I wouldn't have. Started a fight."

"Sure you wouldn't have." Remus shook his head, his tone indicating disbelief.

"I swear! Unless he did something-"

"He never really does anything, you just dislike him, Sirius, that's all. Not that I understand why." The lycanthrope snickered going through his pockets looking for something.

"He's annoying." Sirius huffed.

"He is. But he did nothing to _you_." Remus reasoned victoriously pulling out a quill from his robe.

"He…" The black haired boy thought it over and decided to leave it unsaid.

"Exactly." Remus raised an eyebrow at his friend and smirked.

"Why are you even defending him? Changed your mind or something?" Sirius seemed to have remembered that the best defense is a good offense.

The slight blush on the head boy's face didn't go unnoticed.

"Yeah, that would be a no. If someone could take him of my hands that would be great. In fact, here's an idea…" Remus laughed and looked at Sirius slyly.

"No. Nu-uh. Not in a thousand years. Even if he was the last man on earth, I would rather spend the rest of my life with my right hand." Sirius shook his head horrified.

"Too much information!" Moony squealed trying not to burst into laughter.

III

Sirius watched the slight curve of Remus' neck. He saw the way his hair fell over solemn eyes, the way his lower lip got caught in between his teeth, the way his shirt outlined his arms. Sirius felt as if it just got a lot harder to be like this, as if every room the two of them had entered since he told Moony about himself, suddenly got so much smaller, pressing, pushing him closer. Or maybe it was Moony who was pulling. Or maybe it was the unsaid words.

He wondered what went through Remus' head.

He wondered if it even occurred to him that Sirius might…

Sirius liked boys, Remus was a boy, so a certain question seemed natural, yet it was never asked.

Did he think it? Maybe he didn't want to know?

What? What if?

Everything got magnified. Sirius even wished that Remus would have sneered in his face, that way he wouldn't have to go through this. Yet he did.

Sirius wanted Remus. He had never wanted anyone this much.

Need. A deep unimaginable need to be near.

To touch. To feel. To protect.

To be touched. To be felt. To be protected.

To…to say. To say so many unsaid things. Things that kept him up at night.

So simply accepting Sirius, Remus drew him in even deeper. Deeper than before, which Sirius didn't know was possible.

Before Sirius felt he didn't have a way back. Now, he knew he didn't.

IV

Strangely enough, Remus wondered. He wondered whether… whether.

What came out in a form of a joke about Robert, had actually been a question.

Who? What did it matter who? When he though Sirius liked girls it didn't matter… did it?

Surely it had to be somebody, it was only natural, yet it had Remus' stomach churning uncomfortably.

It was not jealousy. It was not. Honestly.

V

Peter sat in History with his friends simply observing. He was observing the way Sirius' eyes followed every single move Remus made. The way James fidgeted around his stare darting in between Sirius and Remus, as if he knew something he wasn't supposed to. The way Evans' would turn to look at James with some kind of conspiratorial glint in her eyes.

Most of all he was observing Remus. The way the boy's eyes would glace at Sirius with some kind of question. And how an indescribable untamed emotion would light up in them, before dying out all too quickly.

Did Peter need to say anything?

No, he thought, for now, observing would do just fine.


	9. How Warm Wintery Saturdays Can Be

I

It was a beautiful wintery Saturday. It truly was. Three weeks left to Christmas, the first snow was coating the ground.

Remus loved winter. He got to read, bundled up in his room and nobody would question him, or his tenth cup of hot chocolate. He also much preferred cold to heat. Most of the time anyway.

Of course waking up aching as it is and now freezing too, on the ground of Shrieking Shack was hardly a pleasant experience, but when had transformations ever been?

Remus hated these kinds of days, but since he could do nothing about it, you rarely heard him complaining. Quite the opposite. He would always put on a smile and crack a joke, when he saw a concerned face of one of his friends. They shouldn't have to worry about it. It was his burden, no need to drag other people into it anymore than they had already been dragged.

There had always been that unbearable guilt when he saw a scratch or a bruise on one of his mates' bodies. It scared him out of his mind. The thoughts of doing that, being himself at the time or not. It scared him endlessly to think that one day he might… he might cross… he might do…

The shivers running through his beaten up body had nothing to do with the below zero temperature. As he lay on the freezing ground quietly watching Sirius look through the window with his grey eyes fixated on the snowflakes, he realized that this, this right here is his worst nightmare.

No, not Sirius. Marks. Marks all over Sirius' naked torso.

"What happened?" Remus asked, his voice croaking and squeaking painfully.

Sirius turned around quickly and a carefree smile lit his face.

"You're awake! Great!" He walked up to Remus and sat down next to him pushing a strand of hair out of his golden eyes.

Remus noted how cold yet gentle the fingers were.

"You're hurt." He muttered reaching out his own hand and running it down a particularly long cut on Sirius' chest.

The muscles contracted under his touch and he withdrew his hand immediately.

Sirius seemed to take a bit of time to answer.

"I'm not. You are, however." The boy frowned at his werewolf friend. "I hate to see you like this, Moony. I just wish…"

Remus could've sworn he saw clear liquid coating Sirius' eyelashes, before the boy closed his eyes, blinking it away. How on earth Sirius managed to worry about him, even after getting hurt time after time, Remus never understood.

"Are you cold?" Sirius asked after a while.

"Sirius, you're hurt, it's cold as hell, yet you're not wearing a shirt and you seem like you haven't slept at all. Why don't we take care of you first." Remus said trying to sit up without moaning in pain as his muscles seemed to be tearing themselves in half. A tiny whimper escaped despite his efforts and he saw Sirius' grey eyes cloud even more so than usual.

"Moony," Sirius warned through gritted teeth.

"What? I can't just lie there all day." The lycanthrope looked down and saw he was covered not only in a blanket but also in Sirius' shirt and robe. He took them off extending them to his friend, giving them back. He tried to ignore the pain of his tortured skin being hit by cold air as he stood up.

Remus murmured a few healing charms pointing his wand at Sirius' chest and felt relief wash over his body as the scratches disappeared.

II

_Sirius_ put on his clothes hesitantly, knowing that arguing would be pointless. He watched the other boy limp to the window, his eyes wandering over the bruises on the skin of his back. He breathed out a quivering breath as a result of cold, and things much different mixing inside him.

The way scars and cuts devoured the pale skin of the golden eyed boy was terrible, not because it looked terrible, but because those were all signs of struggle, of something Sirius' couldn't protect Remus from.

As for looking terrible… Sirius highly doubted that Remus' skin could ever look terrible. Or any part of Remus. He was especially convinced of that now, given a chance to freely run his eyes over the boy's muscles. Boy's? That word hardly suited here. After numerous transformations he was bound to develop a strong body, whether he wanted to or not. And so Remus did, making Sirius' mornings after full moon a lot harder. Pun intended.

Sirius felt his own skin tingle in places previously so carefully touched by Remus and stifled a heavy sigh.

This was not healthy. This was not normal. Control was necessary and Sirius had to practice it.

"We're stuck here, aren't we?" Remus asked meaning the daylight outside and turned around, facing Sirius.

"We are." Sirius confirmed.

It was a rare case when Madam Pomfrey didn't show up in the morning, but when it happened Remus was to stay put until the night comes, in case anyone sees him coming out of here.

Sirius wished he could offer to heal Remus, like the latter had done to him, but he knew that the injuries will heal themselves fast enough, due to the werewolf qualities.

"How are James and Peter?" Remus asked.

"They're fine. Went back to the castle earlier." Sirius shrugged. No one had been harmed tonight. The slight scratches on Sirius' body were simply signs of careless play.

"Oh. Why did you stay?" The lycanthropes eyes shone curiously and Sirius found himself at a loss. Why? Why wouldn't he?

"I always stay, don't I?"

"Why?"

"You don't want me to?"

Golden eyes widened at that.

"Of course I … I'm glad you stayed. I just don't want you to trouble yourself. You seem tired, Sirius."

Sirius knew Remus felt he was being pitied. He knew how much the boy hated the feeling. But there was no way to explain to Remus that he actually wanted to stay, without saying too much.

"Not like I have anything better to do, Moony."

"How about sleeping in the comfort of your own bed?" Remus bit back bitterly.

Even if he had been in his bed, Sirius wouldn't have been able to sleep, knowing his Moony was not here alone.

"You need to stop this sometime and let people care." The words left before he could catch them. They were greeted by a shocked silence. "I mean, you always push me- push us away. What's the big deal if I want to stay? My friend just pretty much had his body broken and pulled back together in one night, don't you think that's more important than a bit of sleep?"

"Padfoot, I go through this every month, I couldn't… I mean you're doing enough as it is, to ask more of you would be…" The werewolf boy's eyes were fixed on the ground.

"But you're not asking. I want to stay. Let me." The renewed determination boiled in Sirius' veins.

"I…"

"Nothing, case closed."

III

After Sirius came back from Hogsmeade with a bit of food they somehow ended up cuddled against each other in the corner of now magic-warmed room.

As bad as it was, which is bad enough for Sirius to never ever admit, he loved it when they got stuck like this. He wanted for it to happen more often.

He breathed in the scent of the other boy, pretending to simply be breathing deeply in his sleep. His head was resting on Remus' lap and he felt fingers running through his hair absentmindedly. He was certain that this was as good as it gets for them.

For Sirius that is.

He clutched desperately onto the moment, realizing that someday, the memories of these quiet afternoons will become his get-by thoughts when the world is just too much to handle.

There was nothing more to be expected from their friendship, yet today Sirius was more than happy with this. Of course it was bittersweet in most hurtful way. But Remus was here. Safe. Close. And after full-moons this much felt like a blessing.

IV

Remus noted how peaceful and innocent Sirius' face looked. How soft his hair was. How warm he felt. How nice it felt to have him here.

For a first time in a really long while Remus' loneliness subdued.

For most of his life Remus had known that his road is going to be a lonesome one. He wouldn't dare put burden like this on anyone. Could you imagine dragging someone whom you care about into this vicious circle?

He wouldn't dare.

And yet it still hurt. To be alone.

_I want to stay. Let me._

Words ringing in his head over and over warmed his stomach with feeling. A feeling which made him feel happier than he ever been.

_Say, will you want to stay tomorrow? _


	10. How Rumours Cause Fights

A/N: this chapter turned out longer than I expected O_o And a bit different from what I expected too...

I

"Severus, you will be working with Mister Lupin today," said their Potions' professor.

"But professor!" the boys whined simultaneously.

"No buts."

"I dare you to screw this up, Lupin." Severus sneered at Remus, as the latter took the seat beside him.

"You seem to forget that it would do me no good either." Remus took out his book with a slight roll of the eyes.

"We both know that you're very likely to fail, whether you want to or not." Snape bit back and pushed the ingredients a bit farther from the boy.

"Okay, what do you want me to do? Sit here and look pretty while you're working?" The lycanthrope's voice was full of heavy untainted sarcasm.

"Don't be ridiculous… you could never look pretty." Snivellus said with a mocking smirk playing on the corner of his lips.

"Hm." Remus didn't care enough to start a fight, which he could've easily done by saying one of the comebacks currently sitting at the tip of his tongue. He settled for a distasteful look at Severus' hair and clothes, when the guy wasn't looking.

"If you could resist from touching anything that would be more than enough." Snape murmured already getting started on the potion of the day.

"Great." Remus huffed angrily but complied nonetheless knowing deep down that while it hurt his pride to admit it, Snape was much better at this than any other student in the class.

"Oh and if you could shut up too…"

"Since you asked so nicely- no." As childish as the answer had been, it could have been justified quite easily because Snivellus' snide comments were really getting on the werewolf's nerves.

Snape looked away from the potion.

"Well, what do you want to chat about then? Your weekend maybe? As for me, I couldn't sleep, I guess some people are just a bit more sensitive when it comes to the moon cycles, you know. Wait, but you _do know, _don't you?"

Remus wished he could rip that little self-satisfied smile off. Too bad that would have probably damaged his grade.

"I suppose so. I get very irritable, for example. Easily _provoked_ and everything." The lycanthrope all but growled at the Slytherin.

"Aw, no need to bite, Lupin, I didn't really mean anything by it," Snape pressed on, the smirk not only staying, but growing larger on the overly pale face.

Remus was going to restrain himself. Deep breaths in and out.

"You don't have to worry, Severus, I would never bite you, some things are too rotten even for me."

Snape's smile fell and turned into a glare instead. Remus heard a slight chuckle and turned around to see James listening to their conversation from afar.

"Why do you insist on sucking Black off then?" Snape said calmly as if discussing the weather.

Remus felt his jaw fall to the ground. Did he just actually say that?

"What?"

"Rumors, rumors. People talk is all." Severus shrugged nonchalantly going back to the potion as if the conversation had not been even worth continuing.

"That was the worst possible comeback you could ever make up." Remus breathed feeling fury run down his veins.

"But, I didn't make it up. People do talk. How your friend didn't even look twice when some girl threw herself at him. How he has been following you around like a lost puppy for the last several months. And then those rumors about you. Can't really blame people for coming to such an obvious conclusion, now can you?" Severus grinned ugly at the poor werewolf boy.

Remus suddenly heard quiet talks in the classroom die down completely and could almost feel all the attention being diverted to him. He glanced around and though the only one looking was a seemingly mortified Sirius, the others were obviously listening as well just trying not to show it.

"Well. We're not. I'm not that is. Not that it's _anyone's business." _The lycanthrope stated louder than necessary. This school was worse than a soap opera. Rumors that, rumors this. It needed to stop.

"You would be saying pretty much the same thing even if you _were_, now wouldn't you?" Severus threw Remus a holier-than-though look.

"True. Severus, why are you asking? Jealous?" Remus smirked carefully setting a trap.

"Of course not, you bloody shirt lifter!" Snape snarled turning to the werewolf.

"_You would be saying pretty much the same thing even if you were, now wouldn't you?"_

II

Remus was sitting in detention alongside Snivellus, James and Sirius. He was still holding a napkin to his bleeding nose. At some point someone managed to release some kind of spell, which, Madam Pomfrey said, while couldn't be cured instantly should wear off in a short amount of time.

The heavy silence and the unnerving stare of Professor McGonagall were not worth the satisfaction he got by breaking a certain, overly long nose, the lycanthrope decided.

"Mister Lupin, I am greatly disappointed." The woman said shaking her head, making him shift uncomfortably. It was hardly fair that out of the four of them he was the only one getting scolded, "I would have expected you to be… above fighting." She sighed and her eyes traveled to his head boy badge immediately making guilt run down his body. He clutched the napkin tighter.

"I'm sorry, professor, it will not happen again." The werewolf muttered quietly.

"I sure hope so." She nodded, "I'm leaving you to think this over. No talking. No leaving the classroom. I will be back in an hour."

With that she exited. The points had already been taken, they had already been yelled at by professor Slughorn. Their Potions' assignments had already been failed.

"I still do not understand one thing." Severus spat, aiming his words at Remus.

"Shut up, Snape, talking's prohibited." Remus sighed rolling his eyes and slumping in his desk.

"How did those two end up here?" Severus continued, Remus' words ignored completely.

"Really?" Sirius huffed.

"No one's talking to you, Black." Snape sneered.

"Oh really? Well I suppose you were talking about me, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm in the room. I'm not only talking about right now, by the way." Sirius replied coldly and straightened up in his chair.

"Who cares? It wasn't even meant to bother _you_, Black. Believe it or not the world does not spin around your-annoying-ass-self." Severus said simply, not even bothering to turn his eyes away from Remus' forehead.

"What? Not meant to bother me?! You expect to go around just sprouting nonsense about me and-!" Sirius jumped up and stormed over to Snape.

"Would you just calm your flamboyant ass down, you denial driven piece of…?" Severus asked calmly, leaving off the sentence just like that.

Remus raised his head shocked, to see Severus' black eyes staring challengingly into Sirius' scared grey ones.

"What? Lost for words? I mean, if you thought you were being discreet about this _whole _situation, you were sorely mistaken." Severus laughed in Sirius' face.

Before anyone else could react Sirius had his wand pointing at the Slytherin's chest.

And before _Remus_ could react, the other two boys jumped from their chairs as well, now forming a quite interesting structure, with Sirius and James' wands pointed at Severus and Severus' wand pointed at Sirius.

"Okay, honestly. Sirius, James sit down. Severus, sit down and stay quiet." The werewolf growled still in his seat. There was something dangerous in his voice, maiking the boys oblige against their own will.

Once everyone was sitting again, Remus looked around the room. Severus was smirking to himself, meeting Remus' eyes defiantly, James was looking at Sirius with some kind of glint in his eyes, while the later refused to look at anyone, just sitting there, examining the ceiling, with a face red as a tomato.

"Okay, since spending my free time in detention is not my idea of fun, this is how this is going to go. Everyone will keep their wands hidden. There will be no raised voices and _no_ leaving your seats. If you want to talk, it _will_ be kept civil." The lycanthrope stated the rules in a tone accepting no arguments.

The boys stayed quiet.

"Good."

III

"Could it be that your little friend here, didn't know?" Severus asked Sirius, who was still avoiding James' curious stare.

"Shut up!" Sirius bit back quickly.

"Well this is just precious." Snape laughed, "I'm assuming that you've told Lupin, as there's no reaction from him."

"Severus, would you mind so kindly, staying out of other people's business? Since you said that it wasn't meant to bother Sirius, I'm assuming it was meant to bother me. Like a lot of you actions lately. So whatever it is that I've done to you, can't you just hex me and get over it?" Remus murmured tiredly, feeling the unease of Sirius get under his skin, making him want to stop it.

"I can't" Severus answered lightly and turned his head to the window, signaling the conversation was over.

IV

"Why didn't you tell me?" James asked as the three of them exited the classroom and Sirius was about to flee, but wasn't quite fast enough to avoid James' questions.

"I-" Sirius murmured.

Remus debated over staying and leaving them to talk, while watching Severus' receding back. The desperate little glance Sirius gave him, made him stay put.

"Yes? And Remus knew? Since when are we keeping secrets like that?" James looked at the two of them somewhat hurt.

"I just wasn't sure how you would react, James," tried Sirius.

"Yeah, well I would've been fine with it- you know me well enough, Padfoot!... If I were to hear it from you, that is." James' voice got a bit louder making both boys flinch.

"I'm sorry, I was going to tell you, okay?" Sirius defended himself.

"When?"

"This month."

"And how long have you known?"

"… since the third year…"

James and Remus snapped their heads to gape at their friend.

V

"Matilda Hopkins?" James asked.

He was quick to forgive. Especially since he was guilty of eavesdropping and finding it out on his own before this even came up.

"You said she was hot, so I went with it," Sirius shrugged and Remus eyed him disapprovingly.

"I can't believe this. You actually turned one of the hottest girls in school into a beard. Really? Okay, then what about Charlene Jones?" James murmured under his nose counting on his fingers.

"Well, she was terrible at snogging, even more so than others and that says a lot since you know, I shouldn't even be able to tell. It was like I was not only kissing a girl, but even worse." Sirius shuddered animatedly, he was more than glad to be sitting like this and chatting with his friends about this. He never expected it would go this well, when he told James.

"Worse than kissing a girl he says," James rolled his eyes, "You've snogged more birds than I have and you didn't even enjoy it! Bloody unfair!"

"Why are you complaining, I thought you only wanted Lily?" Remus interjected giving up on his book and putting it aside.

"True. But, Moony, my gay friend has more experience than I have!" James whined, "Talking about experience, how many guys?"

Sirius froze for a moment, looked down at his knees and whispered something under his breath.

"Huh?" James raised an eyebrow.

"None." Sirius repeated a bit louder.

The pause lasted for exactly five seconds and then Remus burst out laughing.

James followed still a bit shaken.

"What! I mean, it's not like there are guys at Hogwarts, whom I could trust with this. What was I supposed to do?!" Sirius exclaimed, his pride getting more and more wounded with each sonorous noise from Moony's throat.

"Oh, he has experience, just not where it matters!" Remus breathed in between laughs.

"So basically," James started calming down, "You snogged and did who knows what with more people than all of us put together, but none of those people were the ones you'd actually enjoy doing stuff with."

Sirius groaned and hid his face in his hands.

"Ladies' man sounds very ironic now, if you ask me." Remus chuckled earning himself a glare.

"Yeah, yeah, very funny."

"It is funny. Finally something from this area I have more experience in than you. It's as ironic as it can get." The lycanthrope shook his head and two pairs of eyes snapped to him.

"Wait, you've snogged a guy?" James asked surprised.

"Kind of. Well I mean, it was my cousin from France and it was a dare. Won five galleons for that one. It was my other cousin's fault, she didn't believe I would actually do it." Remus said nonchalantly.

"But you did." Sirius stated somewhat disbelievingly, feeling something rumble in his chest.

"Hmmm… that brings up another subject." James eyes glinted mysteriously, "Padfoot, say, who _were_ the people you actually wanted to snog?"

"Uhhh." Sirius' face heated up and he fidgeted unsettled.

"I mean, you probably at some point felt attracted to one of _us_, haven't you?" James pressed on mercilessly.

"Huh," Remus perked up, "I didn't even think about that."

"Just like you to forget that you're also a bloke, Remus," James rolled his eyes dramatically, while Sirius was turning redder by the second, "So you did like one of us, Pads? Still do?" James teased.

"Uh." Sirius murmured and his eyes darted around their dorm to find an escape.

"Wait, you actually do, Sirius?" Remus eyebrows shot up.

"You know what, I bet it's you, Moony." James nodded all business-like.

"What?! No way! It's probably you!" Remus shook his head.

"Hey guys! You're back from the detention." Peter entered the room grinning.

"It's no one from you, okay!" Sirius yelled and ran through the door.

"Hey, Remus, I think you broke him again."

"What?! It was clearly your fault. Assuming and things. You probably contaminated his innocent mind with these terrible thoughts,"

"Innocent, Remus?"

"Well, as it turns out."

For once, Peter was utterly lost.


	11. How Remus Tried To Be Civil

I

"Thank you." Remus said sincerely. He was currently talking to a very dumbfounded Severus Snape.

"What for, Lupin?" The guy answered with suspicion clear in his eyes. He looked around looking for the other marauders, who were _obviously_ going to jump out with their wands from around the corner any minute now.

"For not spreading it around too much." Remus shrugged and smiled calmly.

"Huh?" Snivellus' confusion heightened.

"Sirius." The lycanthrope cooperated shortly.

"Oh." Realization dawned on the Slytherin's face and he raised an eyebrow, "I practically outed him to his friends and half of the classroom, yesterday, you do understand that, yes?"

"Yeah, well, it helped him, that James knows now… at least I think it helped him and as for the other part, I think we both know, that if you wanted someone else to know, you would've made it happen by now. You knew it would go unnoticed yesterday." Remus explained easily, a bit annoyed that the other refused to just take his gratitude for what it was and move on.

"No one would believe me." Severus shrugged it off, "And I really don't get why _you _are thanking me."

"You can't expect Sirius to be sensible enough for this task. I figured somebody had to do it." The werewolf boy rolled his eyes slightly, meaning well to them all. He didn't come here to start an argument, he honestly didn't.

The wind blew making the boys shiver as the sky clouded even more. Remus didn't understand why Severus chose to sit on the snowy ground under the tree, rather than just going to read inside.

"Yeah, but I mean, _you_ should be off planning some new way to make my life miserable with what I've said." Black eyes fired up with some kind of weird determination.

"I thought that trying to be civil would be a nice change for all of us." Remus looked at the guy and smiled. It was an open kind of smile, not that little calm one the lycanthrope usually wore.

"Civil? One of your lot? Remus. Please." Severus huffed indignantly.

"Well. Can't blame me for trying," Remus' smile widened, as the other boy's usage of his name instead of his surname or some kind of insult didn't go unnoticed. "Besides, I'm getting tired of the werewolf slash shirt lifter slash filthy half blood jokes, I thought that _maybe_ if we could just _try_ not to insult each other anymore, that would be nice."

II

"Wait, so you actually talked to him." Sirius exclaimed, putting away his muggle music magazine.

"Yup."

"And he didn't insult you once!" The grey eyes widened.

"Sirius, please, we're in the middle of a lesson." Remus shushed his friend, though he was sure that professor Bins wouldn't notice them even if they brought a drum set and started making as much noise as humanly possible.

"Moony," Sirius smirked, obviously thinking the same thing, "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Would you have let me do it?" The lycanthrope asked with an unbelieving expression on his face.

"Well no, but… well, no." Sirius had to agree.

"My point is clear, I believe." Remus said and turned his head to the book, trying his best to focus.

"Yes but why! I mean yesterday that bastard practically-" Sirius began to argue in that overly indulged way of his, but something hit the back of his head.

It was a crumpled piece of paper and the boys looked around to see a grinning James, sitting in the front row next to one and only… drum roll please…. You guessed it- Lily Evans. He got that seat expecting to _interact_ with her more, but needless to say the plan failed as soon as she got annoyed by his chattering the very first lesson and shut him out completely.

_What'ya talking 'bout?_

Remus read over Sirius' shoulder and sighed.

_Snivellus. Apparently, Moony lost his mind, trying to befriend the bastard and stuff._

The head boy snarled and hit Sirius, trying to take the note away, but Sirius managed to throw it back to Potter.

"Seriously?!" James exclaimed upon reading and everybody's heads snapped to him. Sirius gave him a simple nod.

III

"Okay, honestly, what's the big bloody deal?" Remus' patience was wearing off slowly.

"It's Snivellus!" James exclaimed, failing to see his friend's point.

"What are you talking about?" Peter asked coming up to them.

"Remus decided to make friends with a certain greasy headed Slytherin, we all know and hate." Sirius answered.

"What? Snivellus?" Peter wondered confused.

"Yes and it would be nice to start off slowly… let's say it's Severus from now on?" Remus tried.

"But you don't get it, he's been at it since the first day of Hogwarts, don't you feel even the least bit angry about what he's said?" James shook his head disapprovingly.

"Well, we haven't been too nice ourselves either. I just don't see the point in trying to hex each other every time we meet anymore. It has caused enough problems." Remus shrugged, trying to fit the books into his overstuffed bag. "Besides, I figured that it would be more convenient not to be on his bad side, seeing as Sirius…" He trailed off quietly.

"As I what? You don't want school finding out I'm gay? Is that it?" Sirius' temper got ahead of him once again, forcing James and Peter to groan and Remus' eyes flash angrily.

The truth was Sirius simply felt very unsettled about the way Snivellus had been terrorizing Remus lately and how his insults had only been directed at the werewolf too. And how his sneaky little eyes had been following Remus all too often. And just…

"I couldn't care less and you know it. I just thought, you wanted to keep it to yourself and not feel blackmailed into something you were not ready to do!" The lycanthrope felt frustrated to the point where he began to yell. And everybody knew that a yelling Remus was a highly dangerous Remus.

"Oh yeah? Is that the reason you suddenly decided to get all close with the bloody enemy?!"

James almost chuckled at how overly dramatic Sirius was being. Lucky for him he held it in, because Black was angry enough to rip someone apart.

"All close?! Enemy?! Do you even hear yourself?! Why don't you try being nice to the bloke and realize that he might not actually be that bad, before you go and judge him on the actions, which by the way, you provoked yourself?!" The golden eyes were glowing with fury and even Sirius felt the urge to step away.

"You know what?! Run and be nice to the greasy jerk all you want, just don't forget everything he had said to you, okay?! Cause maybe when he decides that his royal ass is too nice for you, you will realize who your actual friends are!" Sirius screamed on top of his lungs.

"And who are they?! People, who refuse to even give others a bloody chance!?"

IV

"He'll come around." Sirius muttered stubbornly. "You'll see."

James and Peter felt inclined to point out that Remus' bed that Sirius had been talking to could not, in fact, _see. _They kept quiet though, not wanting for yet another hissy fit to ensue.

"Say, Peter, do you think it's about Snivellus at all?" James whispered lowly.

"Jaammmeeesss?" Sirius whined childishly and raised his sad grey eyes.

"Sirius?" James smirked.

"Do you think he's maaad?"

V

"I just get so angry at him sometimes, Lily, I mean… I have yet to meet another person to act quite as unreasonable!" Remus rambled checking out books on the shelf.

"Remus, you know it pains me physically to be…uh… nice to Black, but It might just do you some good to cut him some slack." Her green eyes shone gently and Remus felt his nerves soothe at her kind and peaceful manner.

"Why should I, Lily? Lately he's been just…" Remus started and let it go in the middle of the sentence feeling the anger come back.

"That's exactly why, you should try going easy on him." Lily shook her head softly.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he does have a lot to deal with, don't you think?" She asked and took a book out of Remus' hands, eyeing the cover.

"James told you?" Remus tried to be surprised. He did. Really.

"Actually, I got it all by myself!" She exclaimed proudly.

Remus wondered if he was the only one not to notice absolutely anything and felt a bit guilty.


	12. How Lily's Idea Got Taken Too Seriously

I

"Remus, I'm sorry."

"Uh-huh."

"I really am."

"I believe you."

"I shouldn't have yelled."

"You shouldn't have."

"And I was wr-…wr-…wro-…"

"Wrong, Sirius?"

"Yes, that."

"Okay, good for you to understand that."

"Moony, please don't be like that."

"Like what?"

"You know! I really didn't mean to upset you, okay? Can't you just forgive me and move forward?"

"Can't we do this in the morning, Padfoot?" Remus groaned hiding his face in his pillow from Sirius' intense puppy dog stare. It was four in the morning and the grey eyed boy had been terrorizing him for about half an hour.

"No. I can't sleep. I need you to forgive me." Sirius whined and it had been true, he really didn't sleep for one second, knowing that Remus was mad.

"Okay, I forgive you, can you get out of my bed now?" Remus groaned and tried once again to push Sirius' body away, but with no success.

"Nooo! Say it like you mean it!" Sirius shrieked earning a simultaneous grunt from James and Peter. Remus was not the only one being kept up.

"Okay, okay… Sirius, you are forgiven for what you've done and shall now be free from your guilt and sorrow. Will that suffice?" Remus forced out sleepily and looked at Sirius with a mix of annoyance and vague amusement.

"Yes!" the latter yelped and hugged the werewolf tightly, snuggling into his chest.

"Can we all sleep now, Padfoot?" Came a tired murmur. James was not a happy camper.

"Yes, yes you can! I can!" Sirius exclaimed and closed his eyes holding Remus tighter.

"Uh, Sirius, 'I forgive you' does not translate into 'you can stay in my bed', you know that, right?" Remus tried prying Sirius' claws off of himself, but didn't quite manage to do so.

"Shush, I'm sleeping." The boy grumbled and released a loud fake snore.

"James, help." Remus cried helplessly.

"Too tired. Just let him stay."

II

The morning had been an awkward one for Sirius. But it was not his fault really. His dreams were not something he could control. Also, it wasn't like he could fully control his hormones. That little mocking smirk on Remus' lips as the werewolf realized the reason for his friend's sudden jump and run for the bathroom was not helping either.

III

"You, my friend, need to get lai-"

"Do not even say it, James." Sirius grumbled and realized that his friend was never going to let him live down this lack of experience thing.

"But it's true. I can't have you prancing around all innocent and inexperienced." James shook his head, seemingly terrified at the thought.

"James, I'm neither innocent nor inexperienced and you know it." Sirius defended himself. He didn't like where this was going one bit. He felt cornered enough with James questioning whether he had had a crush on one of his friends and now, if the antlered git started trying to set him up with someone and he would be forced to admit… he was not even going to consider that possibility.

"Yes, but I mean… Come on! You need to, you know, get actual experience, where it actually matters, like Moony said." Potter continued making Sirius want to yell at him to leave Remus out of this.

"James, I'm sure I don't need your help with _this._"

"And I'm sure that you do. You know what? I think that Ravenclaw seeker might be playing for your team, if know what I mean." James said persuasively.

"Prongs, lay off. I'm serious." Grey eyes flashed with annoyance.

"Of course you are," James chuckled, earning a 'don't you even start' look, "I just… don't see why you're making a problem out of something like this."

"Because, it's none of your business." Sirius argued.

"But it is my business, I'm your best friend. I tell you everything about Lily.-"

"I sometimes wish you didn't."

"And it's supposed to be like that. Unless… oh I get it!" James exclaimed excitedly all of a sudden.

"Pray tell." Sirius muttered with sarcasm dripping out of his voice.

"You already like someone, you just didn't tell us yet-" James started.

"James, Sirius!" They were reached by Remus with a disheveled hair and uneven breath. "I'm glad I caught up to you. Professor Slughorn said he was going to give us one more chance at that potion, I'm on my way to Severus, you should go to the dungeons."

IV

"I don't get it! Two days ago they couldn't stand each other!" Sirius growled quietly.

Remus was chatting with Severus and handing him the ingredients at his friendly requests.

"Well, he did tell us, he was trying to be nice." James shrugged, not really having time for anything, but fixing his already failing Potions' grade.

"But I mean-"

"Sirius, would you just forget your jealousy for a moment and help me already. I'm dying here." James cried as the potion turned dark grey instead of a 'peaceful pink' and started bubbling.

Yes. That shut Sirius right up.

V

"James, don't you think the whole Severus situation is good enough of a kick for them?" Lily sighed observing how Remus and Severus were indulged in a friendly discussion over some transfiguration spell and how exactly the wand should be held while performing it.

"Lily, dear, you do understand that if Amanda Brown and Robert Jorkins didn't get Sirius into action, probably no one will? Unless you can convince those two," he gestured toward the boys, who were now articulating wildly to prove their points, "to start snogging in broad daylight that is." James chuckled at the thought.

"Do you think we could?" Lily's eyes started shining and her face grew serious.

"I was joking!" James yelled terrified.

"But it's worth a try." Lily shrugged.

Hiding behind the corner in a library with James potter, voluntarily close to the bloke, made even the craziest ideas seem possible.

"Yeah, good luck with that!" James shook his head cynically.

"Okay, okay. What do you suggest, since obviously Sirius' jealousy seems to be creating more problems than solutions?" Lily yielded.

"I don't know. Maybe Remus is the actual problem here?" James wondered.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, he thinks he's straight, maybe… maybe we need to get him to change his mind about that first." He explained and grinned as Lily smiled at him conspiratorially.

"You're right, but what do you propose we do? Lock the bloke up in a heated room with no food or water just pictures of naked men?"

"Well, that is one way to do it." James said solemnly.

"James, I was kidding."

"Oh."

VI

James was happily sharing the leftovers of his Honeydukes' specials with Evans, glad that for once, they were sitting and talking like normal people instead of fighting. The common room had never looked just as nice and warm.

"JAMES POTTER!" Screeched a very sweat-drenched, very unhappy and very much unbottened-shirt-in-the-middle-of-the-winter-wearing Remus Lupin, upon entering the room with a murderous look on his face and a bunch of photos in his hands.

"Uh-oh." James whispered trying to hide behind the cushion.

"What. Is. The. Meaning. Of. This!" Remus snarled hitting his friend on the head with the papers.

"Uh. I just-"

"You know what?! I don't even care. I could've suffocated and really I think those photos have left me mentally scarred for the rest of my life! If you want to live to see tomorrow, I suggest you stay away!" The werewolf growled out and after throwing away the papers stomped upstairs angrily, taking of his shirt completely.

"Wait, James, you actually proceeded with that ridiculous idea?" Lily's eyes went wide.

"Well. Yeah." James shrugged picking up the photos.

"Are you stupid?" Lily gaped at him and snatched one of the photos from him.

"It was _your idea_, need I remind you?" He tried to reason.

"Yes, but we agreed on 'plan b'."

Her eyes traveled down to the paper in her hands and she released it immediately letting it fall down, looking as if she had just seen a ghost.

"Potter?"

"Yes, Lily, dearest?"

"Those are _all_ of you aren't they?" She forced out feeling the need to cover her eyes from the picture, now staring at her blatantly from the ground.

"Well, I was the sexiest man I could think of, so…"

"James what did you do?" A very shaken Sirius finally caught his breath and snapped out of staring blankly at the direction Remus had walked off to.


	13. How To Trip And Fall

I

"I can't believe he's still talking to that slimy snake. I thought a week would be more than enough for him to understand it's useless." Sirius huffed.

"I know ri-" James started.

"Maybe it isn't useless." Lily argued taking Remus' side, "Being nice is never useless."

James shut up and so did Sirius after catching his warning look.

Sirius wasn't even sure what she was doing sitting with them, eating her breakfast as if their company had been the most usual thing in the world. She had been hanging around them for over a week. Sirius didn't like it very much, but kept it in, because it was obvious that James was beyond happy.

"Hi Lily," Remus finally left Severus at the Slytherin table and came over to sit with them.

"Hi Remus!" Evans greeted cheerfully.

Remus sat down next to Sirius and his leg brushed against his, making his skin tingle.

Sirius could've sworn he saw Lily and James exchange a look when he shifted closer to the werewolf, but ignored it completely, deciding that he probably doesn't want to know.

Remus looked around as if looking for something and then turned to James.

"Where's Wormtail?" He asked.

"I left him at the dorms, he was finishing up an essay on Transfiguration. It's really too much for the poor bloke to handle, all this homework. He even skipped breakfast and I mean that is just…" Sirius answered instead, satisfied when the lycanthrope refocused his attention on him.

"Great," Remus grinned, "Then we have time to talk about his birthday."

Three pairs of eyes were staring at him with surprise.

"You didn't forget, did you?" The smile fell from his lips.

"Forget?" James laughed, but it sounded so fake that even he himself heard it and stopped immediately.

"Sirius?" Remus asked with hope.

"Of course, I didn't forget it's…it's…" Sirius desperately tried to remember when exactly it was, but to no avail, earning himself a disappointed frown.

"It's this Friday. We need to do something." Remus rolled his golden eyes.

"Just throw him a surprise party." Lily said simply.

"Yeah, but we need to prepare, and since we don't have that much time, it's going to be a bit complicated." Remus answered thoughtfully.

It was Monday, so in Sirius' opinion they still had heaps of time. Of course he didn't say it out loud, knowing that the ever punctual head boy would disagree.

"We just need to sneak out like tomorrow or on Tuesday and buy us some booze, everything else will be fine by itself." James concluded, making Lily and Remus glare at him.

"Well that's not the only thing we will need, at least if you're sneaking out, buy some food too." Remus shook his head disapprovingly.

"Yes! He didn't say no to the alcohol!" James smiled victoriously.

"I don't really think he knows how to." Sirius chuckled, remembering how he found his friend wasted.

Remus' head shot to him and suddenly he had a very sharp elbow in between his ribs.

"Huh?" James and Lily perked up.

"Nothing." The werewolf answered quickly.

II

"How did _we _end up picking up the drinks?" Remus asked Sirius Thursday evening, going down a secret passage, cursing himself for not taking a winter coat.

"You know Robert Jerkins was asking to get his face adjusted, I'm just sorry it wasn't me who did it." Sirius answered regret clear in his voice.

"_I_ just hope, one little remark about James' hair was worth a week of detention." The werewolf said bitterly, not feeling sorry for James one bit.

"Moony, you're not the one to talk, you did break Snivellus' nose." Sirius reminded helpfully.

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't have if it would have been a simple comment on my hair." Remus noted.

"So what you're saying that it would've been okay to hit him if-"

"That's not what I'm saying at all- Ah!" Remus shrieked (yes, shrieked, not at all like a girl though, thank you very much) and fell over. He managed to trip on his own robes somehow.

Sirius hurried to pick him up, somehow managing to stumble and fall onto him in the process.

As Remus opened his eyes, he found himself millimeters away from Sirius' face.

He didn't know why. He really didn't. If you asked him he would probably say it was the unreadable emotion in those grey eyes.

Remus felt his heart skip a beat.

He would never admit it. Never. Even if someone were torturing him with silver or fire or God knows what. But it was _that_ kind of skip.

The kind of skip that makes you catch your breath and stops your brain from functioning properly.

The kind of skip that makes your heart start beating uncontrollably after it.

The kind of skip that you fearfully hope goes unnoticed. Or maybe noticed if the other heart did a similar skip too.

"You okay?" Sirius asked and the werewolf could feel his warm breath. The question sounded weird. A tad bit too quiet and intimate.

Sirius was staring at him, almost not blinking and making no movement to get off.

Remus managed something resembling an ' Hhh'm fine' .

He took in pink parted lips and an unfocused stormy grey stare.

Did Sirius always have that dimple in his cheek?

It was cute.

Wait.

Hold on.

Baaaaacking up now.

Why.

Why was it cute?

It was like somebody pulled a break in the lycanthrope's head. You could almost hear that screeching sound. Honestly.

Suddenly Remus was squirming trying to get out, in process making Sirius snap out of it too and jump away.

"S-s-sorry."

Remus heard an apology, but was way too busy hiding his flaming cheeks and uneven breathing to answer.

After a while, calming down and collecting himself enough to put his thoughts into a small little box in the back of his mind. It should not be opened while Sirius is still mere steps away. Sirius _and _his dimple.

III

_Do not jump on him. Control. Control is everything. Breathe in. Breathe out._

Remus under him. Remus staring at him. Remus' body close. Warm. Under _him. _Close. Remus.

_Do not jump on him. Control. Control is everything. Breathe in. Breathe out._

So this passage had gotten twice smaller than Sirius remembered it being. He found it hard to breathe, hard to walk, hard to think. Hard to function.

Had he given himself away just now?

If he did then he regretted that he didn't even manage to steal a kiss in the process.

And how did he even know if he had?

Remus was certainly too… too awkward to say anything straightly.

Straightly. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Not funny.

Did he need to ask? That wouldn't be probable seeing as talking was hardly an option because his voice left to go on vacation.

'Hey so did you notice that right there? Oh yeah, that was just same 'ol me, and my crush on you. Yup, as in I'm in love. What? No, that wasn't my wand in my pocket, don't be silly.'

Yes. He could imagine that going down. Fun, yes?

.

.

.

No.

IV

"You're finally back!" Said James to the pair of his awkward looking and unusually quiet friends.

Sirius glanced at Remus, coughed and after putting the magically from inside widened bag with all the goods in James' hands took off to the dorms, almost sprinting.

"What happened?" James asked suspicious.

"What happened. Nothing happened. What do you think happened? Why would anything happen? Because nothing did."Remus answered quickly in a monotone and after blushing brightly turned around and backed away into the corner of the room hid himself behind the largest book possible.

"Okay." James hummed amazed.

V

"Why is Remus asleep in a chair?" Asked Lily, having just come back after catching a pair of third years trying to sneak out and taking them to McGonagall.

"I have no idea what happened, but Sirius is in the dorms not letting me sleep, murmuring about something – I quote- 'clicking, really clicking this time, like honestly truly completely unforgettably undeniably without a doubt clicking' and Remus didn't even try to come up, just murmuring something about 'nothing happening' and refusing to say another word." James tried to conclude shortly.

Lily looked at him puzzled.

"They'll probably both go crazy before they even get together."

"It might be. Maybe our plan has flaws." James rubbed the pitch of his nose.

"We shall proceed anyway. If they go crazy, at least they'll be crazy _together. _Lily Evans does not fail." She said in a hushed tone.

"You can be one scary girl sometimes, Evans."

"You don't know half of it."

"But I certainly want to."

James Potter got himself a bruise on his left arm. The wink was totally worth it. He regretted nothing .

VI

Remus' little box refused to stay closed. His subconscious had a very… bland sense of humor, opening it as soon as the guy closed his eyes.

Dreams. Dreams of Sirius. Bad kind of dreams. Bad in the best of senses.

And that God damned dimple.

Somewhere in between those bad dreams something was born.

Something that maybe had been waiting to be born or simply to be discovered for a long time.

Maybe, just maybe that something was still there when the most confusing morning of Remus' life rolled around.


	14. How Sirius Met John

I

The next day pretending that he knew nothing of the surprise party was easy for our werewolf friend. Remus' mind was occupied with much different things or thing or people… or person. Whose name started with an 's' and ended with the very same letter. No, not Severus.

"Hey, Remu-" Lily tried to say.

"Nothing happened!" Remus yelled at her running out of the Great Hall.

Needless to say, when professor McGonagall got the same answer she wasn't pleased in the least.

II

"James," Sirius whispered during their DADA lesson.

"What?" James answered.

"Well, say I have this friend-" Sirius began.

"Is it me?" Potter perked up visibly.

"It's not you- say I have this friend-" Sirius tried again,

"If it's not me, then it's Moony, isn't it?"

"It's not Moony- So this friend likes someone a lot, but he-"

"Are you certain it isn't me, Padfoot?" James scrunched his eyebrows.

"It's a _friend_, okay?! He doesn't have a name!" Sirius groaned frustrated.

"What kinds of _friends_ don't have names?" Prongs shook his head disagreeing.

"For Merlin's sake, why does it matter, will you just let me tell you?!"

"Okay, no need to get angry. Go on." James huffed.

Sirius looked at him for a couple of seconds debating over hitting him. Willed by the leftovers of his patience he decided against it.

"So he likes someone a lot. Like _a whole lot._ But he-"

"Ooh, who does he like? And if he doesn't have a name, can we call him John?" James mumbled excitedly.

James ended up with a bruise on his back, which oddly resembled the shape of the DADA textbook.

III

"Peter, see I have this friend-" Sirius started.

"Sirius, do you honestly not know what day it is?" Peter murmured sourly.

"It's Friday- So this friend, he likes this person very much. _Veryyy muuuch._ But he just doesn't know if-" Sirius continued ignoring Peter's glare.

"It's not just Friday, I cannot believe you forgot." The shorter guy grumbled unhappily.

"Sorry- so he doesn't know whether this gu-…person likes him back. He thought tha-"

"Sirius, if you are not even going to pay attention to me _today, _you can very well just sod off." Peter said angrily and turned around walking away, leaving Sirius in the middle of the hallway.

"Peter! Wormtail! Wait!" Sirius yelled after him.

IV

"Lily, darling," Sirius gushed as she looked at him completely confused.

"Black, what are you-"

"I wanted to talk to you. See I have this problem. Well not me, but my friend. He's in love with someone and he just-"

"Black why are you-"

"-doesn't know what to do-"

"Black-"

"-because he's not sure if the person-"

"BLACK!"

"-feels the same way so-"

"BLACK, GET OUT OF THE GIRLS' BATHROOM! NOW!"

V

"Just shut up and listen, will you?!" Sirius growled dangerously at Robert Jorkins, who was currently pressed up against the wall.

"Black, what do you think you're doing?" Robert asked almost calmly, trying to pry off Sirius' hands off his collar.

"Just listen, okay?! So. I have this friend-"

"You? A friend? Well this should be interesting." Jorkins sighed dramatically.

"Yes- so he likes someone-" Sirius continued seemingly unaffected, his clutch didn't loosen.

"Wait. Let me guess the friend is actually you." Robert rolled his eyes and tried to break free once again.

"-like a lot, but he's afraid that they, I mean the person, don't feel the same way and so-"

"You do realize how pathetic this is?" The Hufflepuff boy grumbled trying to kick Sirius in the place where sun doesn't shine.

" –he's wondering-"

"Jorkins, Black?! What do you think you're doing?!"

"Ah, professor McGonagall, Black right here was assaulting me and making me listen about his sad excuse of a love life, or the lack of it to be precise." Robert said easily.

"Black, let the boy go right this moment." The professor said sternly.

"But pro-" Sirius began to argue.

"Right this moment."

` It was the tone no one could've said no to. So Sirius unclenched his fists and let Jorkins go.

"My office, Black." McGonagall forced out through gritted teeth.

"Okay, Professor," Sirius nodded not bothering to disagree.

"Jorkins, you can go." She let the other boy off, "Black, I would like you to explain to me what happened, while we're on our way."

"You see, Professor, I was just telling Jorkins about this friend of mine, who…"

VI

"Mister Potter!" McGonagall entered the Gryffindor common room, dragging Sirius behind her by his arm.

"Professor?" James jumped up quickly throwing the invisibility cloak over the alcohol bottles standing on the table ready for the party.

"Take him. Now. I don't know what friend he's talking about, but… I. Cannot. Listen. Anymore." She hyperventilated and turned around storming out.

"Friend? Was she talking about John?" James asked Sirius.

"Who's John?" Lily asked.

"Oh he's just this friend of Sirius, who-"

"His name is not John!" Sirius yelled frustrated, which startled an already nerve-wreck of a Remus Lupin who had just come downstairs from the dorm.

"Wait isn't John Remus' middle name?" Lily wondered.

"Huh? Me? What about me?" Remus intervened.

"Oh nothing, it's just Sirius-"

"Gah! NOTHING HAPPENED, OKAY?!" The lycanthrope screamed running back upstairs hastily, leaving a very confused Sirius to look at him disappearing.

At that moment the common room was entered by a very grumpy Peter.

He stopped momentarily, looked around and shook his head as if disappointed.

"I _cannot believe_ everyone forgot. EVERYONE!" He yelled and followed Remus up to the dorm.

VII

"Well this certainly isn't going very well." Lily sighed to James observing Sirius as he sat in the corner of the room and growled every time someone got closer than three meters.

"Well, yeah, look let's just finish setting this up and then we can worry about them." James grumbled, trying to untangle an unrecognizable decoration.

Once he managed to do so he tried to reach the wall high enough to stick it, but failed and stumbled uncoordinatedly almost falling down.

Lily, who was watching him with amusement clear in her eyes, took the decoration from him and after murmuring 'Wingardium Leviosa' under her breath got it to the right height with no problem.

"James, it might do you some good to remember you're a wizard a bit more often." She said mockingly but there was a soft smile playing on the corner of her mouth, making him almost melt at her presence, "So, now, what do we do?"

"We get Peter to come down, congratulate him aaand get to those two and our plan." James gestured towards Sirius with his head.

"Are you sure we absolutely _have to_ use the potion?" Lily asked unhappily.

"Yes, we do. Do you think Remus is going to come to the big realization all by himself? I mean, you saw him today." James tried to calm her down. He understood her worries, but knew that backing out now would be no good.

"I guess you're right." She said obviously still unsettled.

"Look, Lily," James stood up right in front of her and smiled gently, "if it goes wrong, it will be my fault, okay? I'll take the blame, you don't need to worry, no one would believe you had anything to do with it anyways. Besides, even if they find out we were messing with this, well… let's just say Remus is physically incapable of staying mad at you or anyone for longer than a day."

She nodded slowly, calming down a little.

"You're right, James, thanks. Let's do it."

James only wished he was as sure as he made himself out to be.

VIII

"Happy birthday, Peter!" The Gryffindors shouted all together. There were only sixth and seventh years, as the younger ones were pleasantly (with some help of Lily's Imperturbable charm) asked to stay in their dorms.

Peter looked surprised and happily accepted the gifts from his friends grumbling about them really fooling him this time.

The chattering teenagers started the party slowly, but James could already see it was not going to end the same way.

IX

Remus was many things. Stupid was not one of them, unfortunately for Lily and James. When Lily offered him a drink, clearly seeing that he was still holding a bottle of butterbeer in his hand, he didn't suspect anything, but when the exact same thing happened with James and two other Gryffindor students (who had clearly been talked into it), he decided that it was time to bolt, before he got poisoned.

When he saw Sirius reaching out to take a bottle from James, Remus didn't have time to think his plan through, before storming over grabbing Sirius by his arm and dragging him out, taking the damn bottle from his hands somewhere along the way.

And that right there is how the two very awkward and very much aware of each other's company boys ended up in a dark classroom. Together. Alone.

"Sorry. It's just James is up to something. He tried to slip me something. I mean, have you ever heard someone insist that you need a new butterbeer bottle, and I quote 'why does it matter yours is still full, it's been that way for the last twenty minutes! I'm tired of waiting!'" Remus grumbled sliding down into one of the chairs, "I don't know James' middle name, but I'll be sure to cross out cunning, sneaky and discreet out of the list."

He looked at a somewhat embarrassed looking Sirius.

"Oh." Sirius murmured, appearing shy, but obviously Remus' must've been mistaken about that, because Sirius Black was _not_ _shy. _Suddenly the grey eyes widened as Sirius froze, "Wait. So you mean- Well shit!"

"Huh?" the lycanthrope asked intelligently.

"I drank it. The bottle before that- I- I didn't think anything, it just tasted a bit funny- he just- what was that?!"

What was that indeed?


	15. How NOT To Use Potions

A/N: LOADS of swearing towards the end- be warned! This is most probably the most serious chapter that I've written, but don't worry, I do not plan on making this a sad story! Also, I'm not _entirely_ sure about the French thing, I hope I got it right. (You'll understand this note once you've read the chapter). So yeah. And again- Thank you guys for your reviews, favorites and follows! You're awesome. Nuff said.

* * *

I

"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die! Ahhh!" Sirius was spinning in around with his hands in the air, "Oh God, I don't wanna die! I'm too young! Too beautiful! Moony, I don't wanna die!"

"Sirius. Calm down. You're not going to die." Remus rolled his eyes.

"But- but- the drink! I'm dying, I just know!" Sirius fell to the ground with his arm thrown over his head dramatically.

"I doubt James would actually _poison_ his best friend." The lycanthrope reasoned extending a hand to help Sirius stand up.

"Moony, if I do not live to see the beautiful golden sunrise over this magnificent castle, be sure to bury me under the Whomping Willow." Sirius said slowly, with his eyes shining and looking somewhere far away, "Oh and tell my parents they can go fu- " He snapped out of it suddenly.

"Sirius!" The werewolf cut him short angrily, "For the last time, you are _not_ dying, am I clear!"

"But if I am-" Sirius argued.

"I'll be sure to tell them exactly that." Remus sighed.

"Oh and those magazines under my bed-"

"Aaaand we're done here. Come on." Remus moved towards the door.

"Where are we going?"

"Well, you're not dying, but you did drink _something_. I think we should get you some kind of antidote, while you're not displaying why symptoms yet, better safe than sorry." The werewolf explained.

"Moony?"

"Yeah?"

"What would I do without you?"

"Fall victim to your idiotism."

II

"Bezoar , of course, Moony, you're a genius!" Sirius exclaimed after they had snuck out of the professor Slughorn's office.

"I just read. Books- you know those things professors tell you to learn from. Made of paper and are actually one of the greatest-" Remus lectured smirking at Sirius.

"I know what books are, Remus, you don't need to mock me." Sirius grumbled crossing his arms on his chest.

"Moi? Mocking the great Sirius Black? I wouldn't dare!" Remus laughed wholeheartedly.

"Actually-" Sirius said somewhat smug, "I believe it's 'je' not 'moi' as the proper pronoun to use would be 'I', not 'me'."

"Actually-" the lycanthrope chuckled, repeating what Sirius said, only in a highly cynical and mocking manner, " 'Moi' can be translated as both- 'me' and 'I', depending on the case. However, I am quite impressed by your knowledge, dear Padfoot."

"Eh. I suppose. You're better at this stuff than I am though… but I guess that's a given, since not all of us have a French cousin to sno-…teach us French." Sirius' eyes lighted up playfully.

"True." Remus agreed with an evil look forming on his face, "Some of us don't really have any boys to sno- …teach us French."

"Moony!" Sirius growled and shoved his friend slightly.

"You started it!"

"I _so_ did not!"

"You _sooo_ did!"

And just like that the leftovers from yesterday's tension disappeared into thin air, only leaving space for the friendship the two boys had always shared.

And even if Remus couldn't shake the tingling feeling everywhere where his body even slightly touched Sirius', he knew that it was going to be okay somehow.

And though Sirius felt that everlasting bittersweet feeling when the golden eyed boy looked at him with that soft smile of his, he knew that even if this was all they were going to be, all they were ever going to share, someday it might feel like enough. Maybe someday it might feel … a bit more sweet and just a tad less bitter. Someday.

III

After deciding that the party would have died down by now, the boys went back to the common room. They entered a room full of drunk teenagers- some passed out, some about to and some, mostly couples, as far from passing out as can be.

"I don't see James around. Lily's not here either." Remus concluded with a sigh of relief.

"Well, they did seem to be getting along much better lately, wouldn't be surprised if they finally… well you know." Sirius wiggled his eyebrows with a lewd smile on his lips.

"Sirius. No. Just no." the werewolf shivered.

"What? That would be some sight to be seen, wouldn't it?" The grey eyed boy laughed picking up an unopened bottle from the table.

"Well, if you're into redheads… or in your case dark haired guys with horrific glasses…" Remus mused.

It was Sirius' turn to shiver.

"Ew. James? Really? Are you trying to be funny?"

"What do I know about your taste in men?" Remus shrugged easily, took the bottle from Sirius' hands and opened it.

"More than you could think." Sirius mumbled under his breath and watched Remus take a sip from the bottle.

It took about two seconds for the werewolf's eyes to widen and about five more for his world to go black.

IV

Remus felt pain. Pain in his lungs mostly. Also it felt like something had replaced the blood in his veins with acid, making it seem like his whole body was on fire. He tried to scream but suddenly realized that he cannot find his voice, only darkness surrounding him.

He distantly heard other voices, but they were so far away that he could not make out what they were saying.

In an instant the darkness was gone, the pain was gone, the voices were gone and he fell.

V

"I cannot fucking believe you!" Sirius' yell echoed through an empty hallway.

"It's not like I-" James tried, backing up from his furious friend.

"YOU FUCKING MORON!" Sirius raised his wand with a scary look on his face. One that told you to run from him, if you had even an ounce of self-preservation.

"Lily must've overlooked it-"

"HE'S BLOODY UNCOUNSIOUS! HE COULD'VE DIED! YOU IMBECILE! DO YOU EVEN-! I COULD FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU RIGHT NOW! THIS IS THE STUPIDEST THING YOU COULD HAVE DONE, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! THIS IS REMUS! _REMUS _WE'RE TALKING ABOUT! HE JUST- JUST DROPPED DOWN AS IF- AS IF… IT COULD'VE- WHAT IF-!" Sirius had long lost any control of his voice, he doubted even his own mother could top the decibels. Just looking at James made his blood boil- his hands were just itching to hit him, like they had never itched before. The pure untainted rage running through his veins, mixed with panic and stress, was like nothing he had ever experienced in his life. Yesterday he could had sworn that he'd rather cut his own fingers off than ever betray the boy shaking with what looked like fear in front of him, but today… today was a whole new story altogether. Today he wanted to cut _the boy's fingers_ off one by one, in the most painful way possible.

"Sirius, I know you're mad, I'm mad at myself too, but if you only put down your-" James tried in a shaky voice.

"DON'T YOU DARE! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO! MAD AT YOURSELF?! WOW! THE ONE AND ONLY JAMES POTTER FEELS GUILTY! SOMEONE DOCUMENT THIS! ONE PROBLEM THOUGH! I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS ABOUT YOUR GUILT, YOU TWAT! DON'T YOU FUCKING GET IT?! HE! COULD'VE! DIED!" Sirius screamed with all his might, the scariest of thoughts repeating themselves in his head over and over again. Remus falling to the ground unconscious. Remus' breath leaving him. Pale skin. Glazed eyes.

Sirius tightened the hold on his wand and pointed it straight at James' chest. The word '_crucio'_ sitting at the very tip of his tongue, yet somehow not leaving his mouth.

"Look! I messed up! We didn't- we just thought that-" James' eyes were running all over the place dilated and terrified. Maybe that was it. Maybe that's why Sirius didn't manage to say the damn curse. They were not terrified of Sirius. They were terrified of what could've happened.

Maybe, just maybe, James was feeling the smallest amount of horror similar to the one running all throughout Sirius' body, locking the grey eyed boy's muscles and smothering him, making him feel as if he was struggling underwater all out off air.

"YOU MESSED UP?! I'LL SHOW YOU A MESS UP! I'M GONNA MESS YOU UP SO GOOD, YOU'LL BE FORCED TO USE YOUR TONGUE TO WRITE!" Sirius growled furiously.

"The potion, I forgot to check-"

"YOU FORGOT! FORGOT! HOW ABOUT I FORGET TO CONTROL MY WAND!? HOW ABOUT I FORGET AND BRING _YOU_ ON THE VERGE OF _DEATH!" _

"I was trying to help!" James defended himself helplessly.

"A MAGNETIZING LOVE POTION! WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO DO?!"

The bottle. The bottle contained the potion. The unopened bottle so carefully left to stand there by Lily and James, hiding under the invisibility cloak nearby.

And the magnetizing love potion, made to make one feel an unbearable urge to touch the creator of the potion.

Moonseeds. An ingredient, if used carefully and in the right potion harmless. To humans.

Also harmful enough to all other beings, to be used as a deadly poison. Werewolves included.

Poison vile enough for bezoar not to work.

"It was your hair." James muttered quietly. Covering his eyes with his hands and letting out a long shaky breath. "He was supposed to feel attracted to _you_."

Sirius' furious expression dropped to be replaced by a blank one. He paled visibly and his eyes, previously on fire were now stone cold.

" 'Help'? You knew. You fucking knew." Instead of a scream came a whisper.

" Of course I knew. Lily knew. I think Peter knows too. It's… it's obvious most of the time." James forced out choking on his own words. Somehow this right here felt so surreal, that even these revelations seemed pointless so far away. So far away from the boy lying unconscious with madam Pomfrey and professor Slughorn working on him restlessly, doing their best to get him to wake up. It was all so… so unimportant.

"So? You-" Sirius didn't manage to finish. His wand was still in the air, but it was shaking. _He_ was shaking.

"I didn't want you to feel hurt anymore. You… you were…" James tried thinking. Remembering why he had put the potion there in the first place.

"James." Sirius said coldly, but when James got his hands away from his face and looked up, the fury was back in those grey eyes, now even stronger than before, "He could've died. I don't care what the reason was, he could've died. One more drop and… Fuck me. Fuck my feelings. Do you really think they mean anything at this point? Hurt? Me? Do you have any idea how I am feeling now? Do you think I could live with myself if… if. I don't want to see you near me. I don't want to see you near him either. Goes for Lily too. And you better pray he wakes up and gets well, because otherwise.._._ I don't know what I'll do to you and your precious little girlfriend, but be sure that it _will _involve lots of pain."

Sirius lowered the wand, put it inside his robes and turned around not sparing James one more look. He had never said anything alike to anyone. Even when he was leaving his home, he had only unceremoniously called his mother a female dog (which by the way made her yell at him for using muggle insults). He had never actually threatened anyone and meant it like that. With the unforgivable curses spinning around in his head. But that was just it, he was at the point where he could had said and done anything.

Death was creping over his golden eyed boy and he was petrified. Petrified like no one had ever been.


	16. How Sirius Started Screaming

A/N: Sorry for the delay.

* * *

I

Lily and James were sitting together, heavy silence hanging over them like a dark cloud before a hurricane. Lily almost wished the boy would try to comfort her- put his arms around her so that she didn't feel that far from her own body, but one glance at James and she realized that he was in no state to be comforting anyone else right now.

"I cannot believe I just-" She murmured for the thousandth time that day.

"Me neither. I should have noticed too." James agreed.

More silence followed.

The winter holidays were supposed to start tomorrow, but none of the two had started packing yet. James knew that if Moony wouldn't wake up today he would stay at Hogwarts with Sirius and Remus. No matter that neither of them would ever want to see him or talk to him again, it just wouldn't feel right going home knowing that his friend was lying in that bloody bed unconscious and it was all his fault.

Lily looked at James lifeless eyes and had to fight the urge to cringe.

More or less her thoughts were similar.

"We messed up royally, didn't we?"

"If he doesn't get well, I will be looking forward to letting Sirius deal with me." James muttered putting his hands over his face.

II

"Sirius, get off me." Remus huffed unable to push the boy away.

He was at the hospital wing, having just woken up and every single part of his body seemed to be hurting somehow. A boy straddling his lap and squeezing him breathless was not helping either.

"Nghh." Sirius shook his head and dug into the lycanthrope's shoulder even deeper.

"Sirius, come on. I'm glad you're happy I'm okay and everything, but I would like to hear what actually happened." The werewolf chuckled praying the hands off of himself.

Sirius only clutched him tighter.

"Padfoot, please. I feel like I fell from the astronomy tower or something, I'm sure hugs can wait just a little bit." Remus tried reasoning and to his surprise it worked. Sirius climbed off with a slight frown on his face, but it didn't take long for him to break out into a bright smile.

"So?" Remus looked at him expectantly and the smile fell a bit.

"So James and Lily are bloody imbeciles." Sirius growled making the werewolf flinch back a little bit.

"What do you mean?" He asked, trying to understand the angry look on Sirius' face.

"Remember that thing they tried to get you to drink?"

"Uh-huh." Remus said hesitantly, starting to get what happened.

"Well, it was in the bottle we found when we came back too." Sirius grumbled crossing his arms and blowing a stray hair out of his eyes.

"Oh." Remus suspicions were confirmed.

"It was the Magnetizing love potion." Sirius sighed.

"The Magne-… ah. Moonseeds." Remus nodded solemnly and Sirius' careful eyes turned into a glare.

"See! It's obvious, how could they miss it! It's just -! You… you could've-" Sirius choked on those words. It was one to think about that, but now, with Moony right in front of him, he felt it really crashing down on him – the realization of how close it really was.

"Padfoot, why the Magnetizing potion?" Remus scrunched his eyebrows confused.

Sirius' eyes darted around guiltily and he felt an unpleasant shiver run down his body.

"It was just a prank, Moony, how am I supposed to know what they wanted to do?" He found himself murmuring defensively, before he could even think it through.

"Prank? Lily?" Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

Sirius cursed mentally.

"Well… she has been spending a lot of time with James lately." He tried and though Remus didn't look at all that convinced, he knew it would do for now.

"Oh. Well, how long have I been out?" the lycanthrope wondered.

"It's Sunday." Sirius answered.

"Ah. I need to go pack, the train leaves tomorrow, doesn't it?" Remus started getting up.

Sirius ogled his naked torso when the boy shifted out of bed, but soon snapped out of it when Remus' legs buckled under his own weight.

"Moony!" He growled and pushed him gently back into the covers, "Don't you dare try standing up! And what do you mean 'ah'?! You almost died, is that the best you can do?!"

Remus blinked a couple of times surprised.

"Ahh… I'm very relieved?" He tried.

"Damn right you are! What else?" Sirius nodded and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm a bit annoyed too, I suppose." Remus shrugged running a hand through his hair.

"You're '_a bit annoyed'_?'"Sirius repeated his voice dangerously calm, making the lycanthrope gulp.

"Well…"

"_'A bit annoyed?' _You almost died and you're _'a bit annoyed'? _That one time I didn't do my homework you practically went _ballistic _on my sorry ass_, _but now, you've just drank the freaking poison, the person who was supposed to be your friend slipped you, passed out, almost died and you're '_a bit' bloody 'annoyed'_?!" Remus could practically see the vein on his friend's forehead twitching.

"Uhh… Padfoot?"

"It's okay, sorry. I'm okay. I'm calm." Sirius answered and started pacing in the room hyperventilating, "Wait. No actually, I'm not. Sometimes I can't believe just how lightly you take yourself. '_Oh hey, I've just had my bones basically broken one by one by the full moon… but, Sirius, you should really go now, you are going to miss the lessons'._" He stopped and glared at Remus rolling his eyes disapprovingly.

"I sound _nothing _like that." The latter murmured offended at Sirius' heightened voice. "And by the way, it's not like I'm a masochist or whatever you're thinking, it's just… well these things have already happened and there's nothing that I can do, so it's better if I just accept them and move on. Besides, it's not like James did this on purpose. Everybody makes mistakes." Remus finished seeing his friend's anger and trying to neutralize the situation, which was obviously going down.

_"WHICH ALMOST COST YOU YOUR LIFE!_" Sirius screamed with untamed fury and desperation making Remus' eyes widen.

"Padfoot, please don't yell, you'll get madam Pomfrey throw you out." He mumbled.

"She's out." Sirius shrugged but his voice softened and he looked at his friend a bit apologetically, reminding himself that the boy was not the one he was mad at, "It's just, Moony, you just… just slumped down there scaring me to death and when I think about what could've happened I get these thoughts and I…"

He wanted to go on and tell him how he couldn't imagine a world without Moony and golden eyes and their late night conversations and the reprimands for being immature and the chocolate smell and the days they got stuck in the Shrieking Shack and the outline of the boy's lean frame and the warmth of their usually one-sided hugs and … and just him, every little fiber of him, always there making everything if not better, then warmer and so much more bright.

"I don't know what I would do." Sirius concluded out loud.

Moony looked at him questioningly.

"I don't know what I would do without you." Sirius growled and fell to his knees besides the hospital bed, hiding his face in the lycanthrope's lap.

"Sirius-"

"Just let me be furious and please feel just a little bit angry too, because you… you almost left me here alone. And I'm a mess and you're looking at me as if it all is not a big deal, though I swear I just felt the ground slip a little." He murmured with his voice muffled by the fabric.

He felt fingers running through his hair and let himself believe for a moment that it was not only his world that was shifting right now.

And that moment was absolutely wonderful.

III

Even after many hours of negotiation Remus was denied the permit to go home. Something about not having recovered yet.

So he was sitting on the hospital bed, bundled up in his sweater and thinking that this Christmas is probably going to suck big time.

The only thing actually making it better was the dark haired boy on a chair nearby with the upper half of him spread on the bed, snoring softly with content showing on his face.

He had never had Sirius scream at him like _that_ before.

And he felt something change.

Maybe because it was the first time he heard Sirius say something like that. Or maybe it was his own feelings. It just felt different as if this accident had shifted and bended their relationship in ways he never knew before.

It was warm. Not hot and suffocating like it had been at the passageway, just warm. The warmth was a lot sneakier though, making him want to hold, comfort and protect.

"I don't think I know what I'd do without you either, Sirius, I really don't."

IV

Peter came to check up on his friends that evening. He frowned when Sirius barked at him to tell James and Lily to not even dream of staying here for the holidays and instead of doing what he was told he stole a questioning glance at Remus. The werewolf boy looked at Peter with calculating eyes and nodded lightly.

"Their families are waiting for them."

It made Sirius bark some more.

V

The next day Severus noticed the absence of two particular boys on the train and much to his surprise felt the uneasy feeling of concern creeping down his spine.

Snarling at himself disgustedly he tried to find a distraction in a book, even more so surprised when the distraction didn't come.


	17. How To Deal With Evil Snow Globes

A/N: So the rating for the story is K+, but I realized that more than half of my (not-so-funny) jokes are... _well,_ inappropriate. Should I tone it down or just change the rating?

* * *

I

"Moony, let's go outside! I want a snow war!" Sirius jumped around.

"Pomfrey barely lets me leave the bed and you want me to go _outside_?" He got a cynical answer thrown over the top of the book with an arched eyebrow.

"Yes." Sirius hummed simply.

"Well then since _you _are asking- of course, Padfoot, let's go outside." Remus dropped the book to the side chuckling.

"Really?"

"No." Remus cut off cruelly and the other boy frowned offended.

"How very unfriendly of you, Moony. Here I am spending my precious time with you, when I could be… when I could be…"

"Studying?" The lycanthrope mused.

"Yeah, studying and you're not appreciating my precious company in the least. Shame! Shame I tell you!" Sirius yelled exasperatingly.

"Oh. I see that you're right. You made a very decent point, my dear dear Padfoot." Remus nodded solemnly.

"See? I told you!"

"Since it seems that you are absolutely right, I suppose the only logical punishment for my indecent behavior…" Remus mumbled pretending to stroke his imaginary beard.

Sirius could've named quite a few things that under certain circumstances would fall under 'punishment' and 'indecent' categories. Lost in his own little world with his eyes focused on Remus' lips he shuddered.

"Would be you just dropping me and going to study, like you would if you weren't wasting your time on my ungrateful self." The werewolf concluded at last with a smirk.

"Huh?" Sirius snapped out of it.

"Studying. You. Go."Remus laughed.

"What nonsense are you blabbering about, Moony?"

II

"AH! AAAAAAH!" Sirius yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Sirius, whatever you're doing in there, please clean up afterwards!" Remus called at the bathroom door in their dorm on the Christmas morning. He was happy to be let out of the hospital wing at least for these couple of days.

"MOONY!"

"And I would appreciate it greatly if my name wasn't in any way involved in the said doing of yours." Remus laughed out loud.

"For heaven's sake, would you get your mind out of the gutter and just come in already?!" Sirius answered angrily.

"Well, are you fully clothed?" The lycanthrope answered with a question.

"Remus!" Sirius yelled frustrated.

The boy poked his head into the bathroom and grinned.

"Wait, so is that a yes or a no?"

What he saw was a drenched Sirius holding a big snow globe in his hands. The thing was literally spitting out an enormous amount of actual snow from its bottom right onto the Black boy.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" Remus frowned scolding.

"What am _I_ doing, Remus? Why are you looking at me like that?! You better ask Peter what he was doing when he sent me this evil thing as a Christmas present!" Sirius protested hurriedly.

"Ah I see, he probably wanted to make it snow on the inside of the globe." Remus nodded seriously standing where the cold mass couldn't reach him.

"Whatever he was trying to do, he only created this… this … this abomination of a snow globe! I have been trying to stop this thing for the last two hours and so far I only managed to stop it from singing! Moony, you can't imagine how horrible it is! I'm freezing!" Sirius whined pulling the thing even farther away, now only holding it with the very tips of his fingers.

Remus took in the huge puddle on the ground and Sirius' wand laying in it a few meters away.

"Oh-kay." He hummed apprehensively, making a mental note not to open Peter's present this year.

"What do I dooo? Mooonyy!" Sirius cried pathetically.

"Well you did want a snow war, didn't you?" Remus laughed.

"Not funny! I'm like honestly turning into a bloody popsicle here!" Sirius groaned glaring at his friend with the … not so hot heat of a thousand burning suns.

"Bloody? Who would even want to eat that kind of popsicle?" The lycanthrope made a face.

"You tell me, mister werewolf!" Sirius fought back.

"Oh you're just jealous because you know nothing about popsicles and much less eating them or even tasting them." Remus smirked pleased with himself and his super smart reference.

It took a bit for Sirius to get it, but when he did his face went beet red.

"Moony!" He wheezed embarrassed. "Will you just let it go already?! And come on! Now I won't even be able to put a popsicle in my mouth without thinking of something inappropriate!"

"Padfoot, I honestly think that in some point in your life you'll have to get over the things you put in your mouth and just learn to live with it." Remus smirked even more. Oh yeah, he was on a roll today.

"Honestly, what is it with you today!" Sirius mewled and turned even redder.

"Eh. Maybe it's Christmas. Or maybe it's seeing you all wet and bothered." Remus said suggestively.

At that the snow globe slipped past Sirius' fingers and crashed to the floor. It didn't break, just started to spit out snow with even more power.

For a second Sirius stood there completely frozen, but then Remus burst out into a fit of laughter making Sirius realize he was being made fun of.

"Y-y-you!" He growled with as much dignity as he could muster and stomped his foot.

The water splashed and the stomp made a pitiable little noise making the lycanthrope practically choke on laughter doubling over.

"Ah! You-you-your f-f-face!" Remus howled.

"Very funny!" Sirius grumbled mad at himself for reacting like that to a simple sentence. Just the way Remus had said the damn joke made Sirius' blood boil, forget the freezing water all over his clothes.

"Sorry, couldn't resist." Remus wiped a laughter tear when he finally calmed down. "Okay, let's help you now."

"Wow, gee, thank you very much, good sir!" Sirius mumbled annoyed.

"You don't need my help?" Remus asked raising his eyebrows.

For a moment Sirius went quiet, fighting his own stubbornness, but then a shiver ran down his body reminding him of his legs stinging with cold and he gave in, nodding.

"I do. I do."

"So I figure, you must have already tried all the basic spells, so I suggest we just throw it outside for now- it's snowing either way- and ask a professor for help." The lycanthrope said nonchalantly, levitating the snow globe from the ground and bringing it to a now magically opened window and putting it down on the outer windowsill.

By the time his friend had closed the window and smiled at him, Sirius was hitting himself inwardly for not thinking of throwing the bloody thing outside sooner.

"It's that simple." The lycanthrope teased and Sirius stomped over the nearest bed and fell down in exhaustion.

"HEY! If you want to lie in my bed you have to take off the clothes first!" Remus frowned.

Sirius' head snapped up.

Realizing why, Remus burst into laughter again.

"What I meant was, they're wet, Padfoot, but you know, we all hear what we want to." He hummed highly amused.

Sirius groaned and buried his head into Remus' pillow trying to hide yet another blush coming over his face. The faint smell of Remus all around him was not helping.

III

There were three things that Remus realized that day.

One- his mind was dirtier than even he himself knew.

Two- his mind was apparently only that dirty when he was talking to Sirius and seeing him blush excessively.

And three- the quiet indignant 'thank you' when the boy took the cup of hot tea, sitting there bundled up in a blanket, might have been even cuter than the god damn dimple on Sirius' cheek.

IV

Sirius didn't know what to think. If this was anyone else, in the entire world, anyone, but Remus, he would've sworn that the remarks from today would fall under the 'flirt' category. Even just a little bit.

But it _wasn't _anyone else. It _was _Remus. Therefore, Sirius was more than just baffled.

And when the golden eyed boy ruffled his hair after handing him the hot liquid and he suddenly felt like a little kid being looked after an adult, something snapped.

Not clicked, not bended, oh no. It _SNAPPED._

It was just that feeling that the ever calm and innocent Moony could off-handedly make sexual jokes and tease him without even thinking twice of the weight of those words. As if Sirius had been a harmless little puppy.

And he was far from it when it came to Remus. He was far from a kid. Far from a puppy. Far from harmless. Especially in Remus' eyes, he didn't want to be.

And somehow he didn't want Remus to feel comfortable joking about such things when it got him, the Sirius Black, all flushed and messed up.

And if Remus was going to run his fingers through his hair he had the right to be aware of what kind of feelings it could've meant for the other boy.

He had the right to be just a little bit aware that walking around shirtless in the morning could have been viewed a bit differently than just innocent. And that he couldn't say things like 'take off your clothes' and then laugh!

It was one not to feel the same, but different all together to deny the possibility of attraction one sided or not like this. It was almost insulting in a way.

The werewolf knew that Sirius liked boys.

_Remus needed to be aware of the fact that he __**was**__ a boy. He needed to be aware of it right __**now. **__Because Sirius was more than simply __**aware.**_

"You shouldn't do stuff like that. Shouldn't say stuff like that." Sirius said bravely meeting the calm golden stare.

"Sirius?"

"Because, I might take it seriously and then, just think of how much trouble you would be in." Sirius allowed himself a predatory smile.

"Si-sirius?" Remus' eyes widened.

"Don't play with fire, Moony," Sirius stood up and took a few strides over to the boy sitting on another bed , making him pull away slightly when Sirius leaned over, "'Cause it might turn out to be hotter than you expected."

And now it was Sirius who was leaving the room with a self satisfied smirk and Remus, who was blushing furiously.

V

Peter got his first howler in his whole life. It was from James. The words 'HOW DO I GET THE DAMN THING TO STOP!?' could be heard all the way down the street Peter lived on.


	18. How Remus Thinks

I

Sirius liked boys. Boys. And Remus thought that maybe… but no. It couldn't have been _that_ he had in mind. Absolutely positively no.

Remus was… not in that _category, _right?

Obviously even if you like girls or boys, that does not mean you like _every girl and every boy._

Right?

Right.

Then what Sirius meant was…

Was…

Could it have been that he meant Remus teasing him in general?

As in 'thou shall not tease the great Sirius Black and get away with it!'.

Maybe. Maybe.

But then why now? The werewolf was positive that he had teased his friend before.

Maybe he took it a bit too far for Sirius' ego to handle?

But worse things had been said in their group.

And everybody knew they were all just jokes.

So?

So.

It could've been that this time Sirius just snapped because he was still in an argument with James.

Yeah, sure, the whole 'just think of how much trouble you would be in' didn't sound at _all_ like snapping but what did Remus know about the core principles of nervous breakdowns?

The lycanthrope hit his head against the table top not so carefully.

Damn Sirius. Damn. Damn. Damn.

As if the werewolf had not been confused enough as it was.

And it kinda would have been all cool if not that little taunting smile Sirius threw in there.

Honestly.

It raised yet another question all together.

Why. _Why in the world?_

_ Why in the world did Remus want so bad to fall under __**the category?**_

****Damn you Sirius Black. Damn your black hair and stormy grey eyes.

Be damned the dimple.

Be damned empty passageways.

Be damned unconscious dreams.

Damn your smirk. Damn the ambiguous words.

And damn.

Just damn.

II

Sirius was joyful. It was a breakthrough. Finally after all this time he wasn't the one sulking out there somewhere lost in his thoughts.

Not that Sirius was happy that Remus was sulking it was just the fact that it mean that this time for sure things didn't go unnoticed. And somehow the thought of that made him a little overjoyed.

What he got at the very least was the thought of it. The consideration.

The fear of rejection, of ruined friendship, it was still there. Probably bigger than ever, but something changed. Maybe it was the realization that if something terrible would have happened to his Moony after all he would never have gotten a chance to even try to make this work, which made him value the chance all the more.

Or maybe it was Remus himself and his not so innocent jokes that pushed Sirius over the edge.

Either way Sirius was happy.

Happy to be watching his friend sit in an empty classroom, with an overly concerned look on his face. It made him happy to know that the confusion in the boy's eyes was reserved for him. Sirius was sure his Moony was thinking of him.

And he was sure that his own actions and words were very hard to misinterpret. Which meant that he was rethinking their relationship and maybe _that_ was more than Sirius could've hoped for.

**III**

James, Lilly and Peter came back to the castle. Two of whom were wearing gloomy expressions. Peter was laughing. Mostly because he was self satisfied about the snow globe thing. Sure it had been an accident, but any accident to get James' homework soaked to the point where the boy had to rewrite everything was a good accident.

"Why so serious?" Peter hummed at his two mates.

"Not funny, Pete." James grumbled bitterly.

"Yeah. They probably hate us now." Lilly agreed.

"They should." James huffed and pulled his scarf a bit too strongly while wrapping it around his neck.

"James, don't you dare strangle yourself and leave me all alone in this mess." The head girl said threateningly.

"Don't worry, if I wished to die I would let Sirius have his fun." He answered dejectedly.

"I'm sure you're exaggerating." Lily tried calmingly.

"You didn't see him. It was like something just flipped the switch. I haven't seen him like this once in our seven years of friendship." James shuddered.

"Yeah, well, people forgive, we are wonderful creatures that way."

"Maybe. I just… I'm more afraid of Remus' reaction at the moment actually." James muttered.

And Lilly had no calming words left for that. Not for James. Not for herself either.

And as life would have it the moment they stepped inside the castle they ran into no one else but the said werewolf boy himself. The boy looked around confused as if having just woken up and not understanding why the people in front of him were looking at him like this.

Lilly and James froze, while Peter scurried off murmuring something about things to take care off.

Remus' eyes followed Peter's retreating back and then turned to the other two.

"Hi!" He smiled snapping out of his daze and focusing his golden eyes, "How were your holidays?"

James and Lilly looked at each other then at Remus and then exchanged glances again.

"Guys?" Remus tried again.

James' mouth went open and then closed again, while he desperately looked around for some kind of help.

Lilly was too frozen to even do that.

"Okay, so you're acting weird and I'm a bit in a hurry. I just realized that I forgot to take this book back to the library. See you at dinner!" The lycanthrope gestured with a slender red book in his hands.

After about a minute of standing there just looking ahead Lilly and James pulled out of the trance like state Remus had left them in.

"What was that?" James asked disbelievingly.

"I want to say that he was acting, but from the experience I have with him I must say that he most probably was not." Lilly concluded appearing a bit thrown off.

"Why then?"

"Maybe we overestimated his anger level."

IV

Truth is, Remus was simply too distracted. When he saw Lily and James he didn't even remember what happened before the holidays, because his mind was on Sirius.

And his words. And his stupid smirk.

Stupid incomprehensible Sirius.

Damn him.

Remus was not thinking what he was thinking.

Actually, Remus was wishing that he wouldn't be thinking, the things he was thinking but was not supposed to be thinking.

But since Remus was wishing not to be thinking what he was thinking, he was still thinking about the things he was wishing not to think about in the end. Right?

So wishing not to be thinking about things didn't work.

But those things, why was it so bad for him to think them, after all they were his thoughts and anyone who thinks that they can make Remus wish not to think the way he thinks had no right to think that and if anyone thinks that the things he thinks about are worth wishing not to think about them…ah… never mind… Actually he just wanted for Sirius to like him.

And when thinking about things made him come to this conclusion he was thrown off guard.

He wanted for Sirius to like him.

As in like like him.

As in the awkward silence, uneasy stares and lewd thoughts kind of like.

Why?

Why in the world would Remus want something like that?

He was pretty sure he had Robert Jorkins for that and didn't like to be liked the least bit.

But this was Sirius and somehow… somehow all of a sudden this right here was different.

And Remus realized he was actually standing in the bathroom staring at a wall emptily, with a book he was supposedly taking to the library in his hands.

Judging from the weird stare a third year Ravenclaw girl was giving him, it was not the boys' bathroom either.

V

"Are you sure I cannot stay in the girls' dorms? Even temporarily?" James whined eyes the staircase to the dorms frightfully.

"You don't even know if he's there now." Lily murmured, but the intended annoyance failed to reach her uncertain voice.

"Yeah, but sooner or later he will be and death while sleeping doesn't seem like a very inviting way to go." James shook his head smiling weakly.

"He had his time to think things through, maybe he has calmed down by now, maybe even forgiven you…" Lily hummed comprehensively.

"See, that's just it. In many ways Sirius and I are similar, that's probably why we're friends. If the situation was reversed…well…" James frowned and looked at the girl beside him sadly.

"You would forgive him soon enough." Lily finished determinedly, "I know you both well enough to tell you that."

"Lily?"

"James?"

"I hope that you're right and I'm wrong."

"Well aren't those the word every girl wants to hear?"


	19. How About A Wink

A/N: I bid you hello, my lovely readers! How are you my dears? Concerning this chapter- I know that some of you might be getting bored with Sirius' jealousy fitts, but I ask you to bear with me, as this is the turning point in the story! I think I will be ending this in 4-5 chapters. (Just thought I would let you know). I will try to update as soon as possible, but there's not much that can be done about my busy school schedule right now, so forgive me in advance for the possible delay. Once again- thank you for reading! You are the very best! (Like no one ever was... to catch them is my real test, to train them is my ca-...sorry.)

* * *

I

"Sirius-"

"James."

James got cut off by a cold tone and a sharp nod. Sooooooooo… Sirius was probably still mad.

As James watched the other guy walk over to his bed and pull of a shirt, not even sparing one more glance in his direction, he realized that Lily might have been wrong after all.

Sirius hummed quietly and walked to the bathroom, seemingly oblivious to James' existence.

Well, wasn't this going to be fun?

II

"Good morning!" Sirius threw his biggest and brightest smile at Remus, who almost choked on his tea and started coughing frantically, turning a sickly shade of red.

"Morning." He murmured finally, eyeing Sirius' grin, splattered proudly on his face carefully.

"How are you on this lovely beautiful majestic day, my dear Moony?" Sirius purred and leaned on the table on his elbow.

"I'm great, thank you?" Remus muttered confused. He tried to find something else to look at, because since he had been avoiding (quite successfully mind you!) Sirius for almost two days after what was now known in his head as the 'occurrence', he was completely thrown off guard now.

"I'm wonderful, incredibly unbelievably undoubtedly wonderful!" Sirius grinned even wider and even threw in a wink for the added effect, making Remus' let go off the toast in his hand and let it fall to the ground.

"That's… great?" The werewolf answered uncertainly.

"It is!" Sirius exclaimed and shifted closer.

Remus felt his breath go ragged. What the hell was going on?

"Oh."

"Uh-huh!" Sirius sat up straight and with an innocent smile shifted a bit closer again, so that their tights were pressed together.

"S-so." The lycanthrope forced out, trying to back away.

"So?" Sirius kept the innocent expression and moved closer again.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" Remus breathed out almost falling down in attempt to move away.

"What am I doing?" Utter confusion took over Sirius' features.

"Yes, what are you doing?" Remus showed his best suspicious face.

"Hm… I wonder." Sirius answered mysteriously and smirked.

"Sirius?"

"Aha?"

"Sirius!"

"Yes?"

"I-is th-th-that your hand?"

"Hm… I wonder."

III

"Remus?" Severus grumbled, raising one eyebrow and thus masking his surprise quite well.

"Uh, hi, Severus." Remus replied smiling feebly at the Slytherin guy.

"If I may ask, what are you doing in a broom closet?" Snape asked looking at the book in Remus' lap suspiciously.

The lycanthrope had obviously been sitting in a broom closet in the farthest point of the castle from where he was supposed to have a joint Potions lesson with Slytherins and reading. With a sweeping broom hanging dangerously over his head.

By some kind of accident Severus had been simply passing by when he heard a strange noise and decided to check it out, hence this conversation.

"Uh… um… reading?" Remus offered uncertainly.

"In a broom closet?" Severus wondered cynically.

"I find this to be a calm and quiet studying environment, thank you very much." The werewolf blurted out defensively.

"Of course." Severus rolled his eyes. "Silly me. I mean classrooms, especially the way they are during _lessons,_ are highly overrated."

"Yes. That is so." Remus nodded appearing very serious and concentrated.

"I mean, who can study without a few spiders for company dust clumps all over the ground. Don't even get me started on that sexy mop hanging above you." Snape hummed humorously.

"Okay, okay, you can stop making fun of me now." Remus chuckled and stuck his tongue out playfully.

Severus smiled heartily and took in the scene once again.

After what appeared to be a quite vicious inner battle he sighed and slumped down next to Remus, closing the door and making the said guy eye him in surprise.

"Aren't we supposed to be having Potions?" Remus asked, noting the irony in his mind (he has had enough potions for a lifetime).

"Yes, aren't we?" Severus mumbled throwing an accusing look at the lycanthrope.

"So?" Remus asked.

"Don't question my decisions, Lupin, for I may just change my mind and not only leave you here to mope, quite literally," Severus gave the mop one more pointed look, "All by yourself, but also will tell Professor Slughorn how one of his students prefers a broom closet to his classroom."

Remus was about to retort cleverly, but decided against it, because as snarky as Severus was, he was willingly sitting here, while he could be in class and _that, _my dear friends, must have been as friendly as Severus could possibly get.

"Okay, I won't." The werewolf mused instead and smiled gleefully.

"What are you grinning about?" Severus huffed.

"Oh nothing, it's just my company seems to like you." Remus smirked.

"What are-"

"A spider. In your hair."

"Ah!"

Remus laughed watching as Severus shifted and darted around, trying to get the spider out of his hair.

"Well that goes to show your location picking taste stinks." Snape murmured eventually crossing his arms over his chest.

"And that you scream like a girl." Remus whispered under his breath as a side comment.

"Hey!" Severus protested.

"Oh you heard that? Sorry." Remus chuckled.

"You don't sound very sorry." Severus rolled his eyes.

"Sorry?"

"Stop that, Lupin."

"Sorry."

"You-"

"That one was unintentional." The werewolf defended.

"Anyway," Snape dragged on, throwing one last nasty look at the Gryffindor, "I heard, you almost died." His face turned serious.

"You heard I almost died?" Remus repeated lost.

"Yeah, something about James and Lily trying to strangle you in your sleep, while under the Imperius Curse." Snape explained scrunching his nose.

"Strangling? Imperius curse? I worry about the way the information travels around here." The lycanthrope said with wide eyes.

"So?"

"Yeah, I suppose. But hey, as you can see I'm luckily, or in your case probably unfortunately, still here. The people you heard that from were exaggerating." Remus laughed lightheartedly.

"What happened?" Severus couldn't help frowning much to his own dismay.

"A potion." Remus shrugged.

"Huh?"

"They slipped me the Magnetizing Potion."

"Moonseed?" Severus paled. "Are they stupid?"

"They forgot to check I suppose." Remus brushed it off.

"You could've died." Snape scrunched his eyebrows disapprovingly.

"But I didn't so it's fine."

"What were they trying to do anyways?" the Slytherin asked.

"I would like to know that too." Remus hummed with calculating eyes.

IV

Sirius had the best timing just like always. He managed to somehow mysteriously walk down a particular corridor, just in time to see Remus and Snivellus coming out of the broom closet. Together.

Together. Moony. Snivellus. Closet.

And Sirius didn't want to jump to conclusions, but the conclusions came naturally. No matter how ridiculous they were.

And so Sirius saw red.

Had he known that Remus was actually hiding in the said closet from him, just to try to figure out the strange hot feeling he got each of the so many times today, when Sirius' hand accidentally on purpose brushed against his, maybe he wouldn't have taken it so bad.

Had he known that the very thought of what he think happened would have repulsed the boys quite as much as it repulsed him, maybe he wouldn't have felt his heart thump painfully.

But of course Sirius did not know that.

Truth was, Sirius had decided to finally take action.

The time had come for him to realize that if he did nothing- nothing changed. He even had a plan, a brilliant one at that, of using Remus' denseness as an emergency exit. If something failed he could always write it off as just joking.

Sirius was finally going to do something about his ridiculous and uncharacteristically strong crush.

So painful thumps aside- no slimy Slitherin could get in the way now.

Snape was as good as dead.

How dared that snake smile at Sirius' Moony like that?! How dared he?!

V

If Peter had been a bit more attentive that day, he might have noticed James sulking in the corner all by himself. He might have noticed how Sirius' hand was resting on Remus' leg all throughout History of Magic and Herbology, condemning the latter to two hour long session of furious blushing. Or how the werewolf just disappeared soon afterwards. He might have noticed the evil look in Sirius' eyes when he came back to the dorms muttering something about murders.

But no. Peter's attentiveness was lacking as of now.

You see, it just so happened that, that day at breakfast Florence, an attractive 6th year Hufflepuff, awarded our dear Peter with a smile and a wink.

A wink!

It was, indeed, a good day.


	20. How Simple It Actually Was

I

Remus was watching Sirius from afar flirting with some girl. He failed to see the point of it, keeping in mind that Sirius … well you know… but the said Black was seemingly having the time of his life.

All in all Sirius' behavior after Remus had returned to the common room that day had been strange.

_'Hello, Remus.' Sirius greeted, leaning on the wall by the entrance with his arms crossed._

_ 'Sirius.' Remus answered cautious._

_ 'Had __**fun **__today?' Sirius asked glaring._

_ Remus remembered how Sirius' hand felt on his leg and how many mixed emotions it had raised and frowned._

_ 'Did you?'_

_ Because that's what it must have been. A little fun to brighten Sirius' day. Making fun of someone just like always._

After that Sirius had sharpened his glare, scoffed as if he had just been greatly offended and stalked off into the farthest corner of the room.

And Remus knew something was off. Very off. Sirius acted angry and he rarely got angry. Well…at least with Remus it was rare.

For all he knew, he hadn't done anything wrong. Quite the contrary, he had been the one to feel wronged up until Sirius started acting like this. Why must he be the object of Sirius' mockery and cheap jokes?

Remus huffed annoyed. He watched Sirius chuckle and wiggle his eyebrow at some nameless blond girl character by the fireplace and felt something churn inside his stomach.

Why was he feeling so sick?

He watched Sirius drag the girl out of the common room, storming right past him and his jaw dropped.

"_Gay_ my bloody arse." He muttered completely appalled.

Sirius helped the girl through the portrait hole, holding her up by the waist. The movement made the shirt outline Sirius' back muscles and suddenly-

Suddenly Remus felt a wave of attraction mixed heavily with disgust flow down his veins.

He couldn't stand watching Sirius flirt with someone. He wanted to tear the girl away from Sirius' grip. Like away. Like send her flying to Antarctica to have fun with penguins. And it shocked him almost as much as the fact that he actually found Sirius attractive.

Yeah, he knew Sirius was good looking, he wasn't blind, but now… now it was entirely different. He could picture the muscles under the shirt. Sirius' back, his arms, his torso. He _wanted_ to picture Sirius without the shirt. No. It was a bit less complicated- he _wanted the shirt off_.

And it all fell to place. The heavy stares, the sneaked glances, the passageway, the goddamn smirk, the dimple, the fact that the skin of his leg was still tingling right where Sirius had touched it earlier.

And finally, my dear friends, our smart little cookie came to a revelation. His eyes widened as he stared at the spot Sirius and the girl disappeared from.

"Holy sh-"

II

"JAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEES! JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEESSSSS!" Remus hollered running to the dorm and tearing the door open.

James looked up from a book (yes, dear friends, an actual book) scared for his life and took in distressed Remus standing in front of him with a frantic look in his eyes.

"Remus?" He muttered carefully.

"JAMES! James! Yes!" The werewolf smacked the door closed and ran to James like a mad man making the latter scoot away quickly. "Tell me!"

"Tell you what, Remus?" James asked puzzled.

"You like Lily, yes?!" The lycanthrope waited for confirmation eagerly.

"Yeees." The guy with glasses dragged out hesitantly.

"Tell me!"

"Huh?"

"How do you know you like her?" Remus rolled his eyes impatiently. He looked like it was hard for him to stand peacefully in one place.

"What do you mean?"

"Well you're always talking about her, right?" Remus urged.

James was about to argue, but the crazed look in his friend's eyes somehow changed his mind and he found himself nodding.

"What do you usually say?!"

James wanted to scoff and get offended about Remus not even listening to what he said, but he didn't. Maybe it was because he felt that this was something… well… not to be messed with. Maybe because Remus was still talking to (yelling at) him and lately he learned to value that immensely.

"Uhh… Remus, you need to be more specific." He scratched his head awkwardly.

"For God's sake, James, just why is she so special?" The werewolf groaned.

"She… she just is. I can't… it's everything all at once. It's little things about her that just seem to be… different. I cannot even look at anyone else like I look at her. It's as if she has me at her feet. She's beautiful- everything about her seems special. Her eyes, her freckles, her smile. I can't help it. I just want her to smile. I want her to smile at me." James concluded as best as he could.

Remus fell silent, glaring at James with calculating eyes.

James shifted uncomfortably and tried to make out what this was all about.

"Well…" Remus hummed and frowned. "Well goddamn it!" He whined and hid his face in his hands squatting down.

"Moony?"

"Yeah?"

"What is it?" James pried cautiously.

"I- I think… I-" Remus stuttered standing up and running his hands through his hair.

"Yeah?"

"You know what? I think I have a package to send to Antarctica." He chuckled humorlessly eventually and turned around walking out of the room.

"Hm. Do you know what that was about, Peter?" James recovered after a few moments and turned to his friend who had been watching the scene unravel quietly with an amused expression.

"Don't you, Prongs?" Peter smiled simply.

"You mean?"

"We can only hope."

III

So maybe Sirius didn't _really _know what he was doing. He got angry and jealous and just- just! And maybe he didn't have the right to be angry with Remus at all. And maybe he knew that. And maybe, just maybe, he knew that Remus was… _free… _to spend time in some broom closet with whomever he wants.

But! But Sirius' attempts at … gaining attention… surely didn't go unnoticed today. He was sure that at the very least Remus should have realized that… well you knoooow.

So Sirius wanted at least to be acknowledged.

And it made him want to fight.

Unfortunately, he realized a little too late what kind of nonsense he was doing by fighting _with _Remus. And his anger, which was originally directed at Snivellus, somehow channeled onto one person he shouldn't have been angry with, finally leaving him in a corridor having just been slapped by a very confused and offended girl. He felt stupid and like he was losing control all together.

**_'Did you?' _**

Yes, Remus, I had loads of fun watching you with that snake, thank you very much for rubbing it in.

"So, where's the girl?" He heard the voice in reality and span around to see the werewolf looking at him with an unreadable expression.

"Left." He answered simply.

"Why?"

"Eh, I was just not into it this time… or I suppose any time as long as she's still…she." Sirius tried to joke, but his voice wavered, making him realize that he was actually closer to a mental breakdown than he would have thought originally.

"Not that, Sirius. I don't get why would you go off doing things like that in the first place?" Remus sounded a bit irked, but his calm exterior didn't give away anymore than that.

And Sirius had an answer. He wanted to show Remus what it felt like- the anger, the bitterness, the pain of seeing the person you love with someone else. He just now was starting to see one major flaw. That was not how 'one-sided' worked.

"I… I don't know, Remus." He sighed with his eyes on the ground. And the scene was playing over and over in his head- Moony smiling at Snivellus.

And suddenly he felt like breaking down and sobbing. And begging for Remus to feel something for him. And running away to jump off a roof.

It might have hit him harder than he first thought. And it might have been that last finishing blow.

"So." The lycanthrope's cold and angry tone made him look up at golden eyes. "Don't… just don't do it again."

Sirius' took in Remus' red cheeks and shifty stare, which was obviously avoiding his confused one.

"Huh?"

"Donghdohthjgagain." Remus breathed out quietly.

"Don't do what again?"

"With girls…or boys… I mean… you can but … I …yo-you.. Sorry!" Remus mumbled hurriedly and after glancing scared at Sirius turned around and hurried off, leaving the guy utterly and completely lost.

"Don't do what?" Sirius asked himself.

But somewhere deep deep down he felt the hurt of the final blow suddenly turn into something entirely different.

"Don't tell me it actually…worked?" He felt a disbelieving chuckle escape his throat as his eyes widened in excitement.

IV

"Well damn." James shook his head lightly.

"I know." Lily nodded.

"I told you." Peter shrugged.

"Merlin!" James exclaimed.

"I know."

"I told you."

"But how?!"

"I don't know!"

"Jealousy is the fastest way." Peter explained.

"So it was that simple?" James frowned.

"Nah, I think he needed to understand it himself." Lily said.

The three of them were hiding behind the corner skillfully muffling their voices, waiting for Sirius to leave.

"I can hear you, you know? You guys really need to learn to stay out of other people's business."


	21. How To Chop A Pony's Head Off

I

"You okay?" Sirius smiled carefully at the guy observing the sunset with those solemn golden eyes of his.

"I'll be fine." Remus shrugged, not really surprised he had been found at the Astronomy tower, as this was after all one of his most frequent hiding places, which made it not so hard to figure out.

"I know you will, but are you okay now?" Sirius frowned sitting down next to his werewolf friend and letting himself take a moment to admire the profile- Remus' skin was almost glowing under the gentle touch of disappearing sunlight.

It _was_ the middle of the winter and the ground was ice cold, but Sirius didn't mind much.

"I've been better." Remus muttered truthfully and turned to meet the grey stare.

The boys shared a moment filled with calming joy of friendship, heaviness of their deepest fears and everything in between.

Remus was the first to turn away.

He felt his racing heart beat slowly make its way onto his insecurities list and that was the last thing he needed at the moment. Or maybe he needed it the most, but simply was not ready to admit it just yet. He heard Sirius' voice full of concern.

"What is it?"

"I was just thinking of what it's going to be like after we're out of here."

"Nothing changes." Sirius grunted assuring, but the lycanthrope felt it was the both of them he was trying to convince.

"It will. James will probably get the girl. Peter will find himself a nice little apartment next to a candy store… you will find someone to keep you in check eventually and settle down with him somewhere far away from your family, far away from here- " _far away from me_. Remus' heart thumped painfully at the thought and he had to fight the nausea, which hit him all of the sudden, "And I- I will still be stuck in this constant state. I won't have a job. I will be all alone. I wouldn't dream of condemning someone to be stuck like that with me and I doubt anyone would even want to."

The sun seemed to be going down much faster than natural at that moment. As if mocking Remus, by emphasizing his speech. His bondage to the night.

"You're wrong. I would never give up our friendship. Not for anything. You're stuck with my annoying self for as long as we're alive."Sirius muttered quietly.

"Am I?"

"As long as you want me here, Remus, I'm not leaving."

"Hm. I guess I am then."

II

One more time Remus opened his eyes and saw the dirty floor of Shrieking Shack. His body was shattered yet again and he felt the cold biting at his every single cell. Fighting the urge to shiver he tried to lie as calmly as he could manage, as he realized he didn't just wake up, he was woken up by angry voices.

"How many times do I have to say that I'm sorry, Sirius?" James said clearly trying to contain his anger.

The guys were standing about a meter away from each other and clutching their wands in their hands. At least they weren't raised yet.

"Yeah, James, because that's how it works- I almost killed him…_eh, sorry." _Sirius roared.

"When what do you want to hear- "

"Nothing! Just don't talk to me at all!"

"I don't get it! He forgave me, why can't you?!"

"Because you know how he is! He would keep smiling calmly even if you were to take his favorite pony and chop its head off!" Sirius rolled his eyes exasperatedly.

"A pony?" James asked raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, you know what I mean!"

"I don't get what you want me to do!"

"Because there's nothing you can do!"

"Oh great, one mistake and that's it?!"

"YOUR MISTAKE COULD'VE COST HIM HIS LIFE!"

"I was trying to help!"

"Oh yeah, sorry, James, that makes it so much better!"

"Well somebody had to do something! Since you were –"

"It is none of your bloody business!" Sirius shouted turning bright red.

"Yeah but-"

"But nothing, you fucked up and that's it!"

"So what now?!"

"Nothing, I don't even want to talk to you anymore!"

"Yeah, well as last night has proven that is _clearly _the answer!" James yelled, his green eyes flashing with fury.

What happened last night? Remus tried to remember.

"I told you shouldn't have come!" Sirius forced out through gritted teeth.

"And you shouldn't have tried to play prince charming coming to the rescue!"James fought back.

"Don't you dare-"

"Oh?! Did I hit a soft spot?! Aren't you being a hypocrite considering-"

"Guys, what happened last night?" Remus asked sitting up.

James and Sirius jumped apart and looked at Remus guiltily as if they've just been caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing.

"Nothing." They said together and the werewolf felt the unease creeping up his spine at their shifty eyes.

"Peter?"

"Oh they almost screwed up last night. Some third years had wondered into the woods and … you… got too close, so James tried to distract you… and then Sirius tried to distract you too, because he didn't trust a giant stag to be a good enough distraction and wanted to be the savior of the day." Peter said monotonously, throwing an evil look at Sirius at the end. "So, all in all, you almost stumbled upon the stupid third years, which would have probably resulted in you shredding them to pieces, because you were exceptionally… _active_ this time." Peter shrugged as if he was talking about their Divination assignment.

Remus felt blood drain from his face.

"What?" He muttered weakly and his eyes darted between the three of his friends.

Sirius and James glared at Peter angrily, but upon meeting Remus' eyes their expressions turned apologetic.

"I'm sorry, Moony, we just-" James started, but fell silent when the lycanthrope jumped on his feet and frowned disapprovingly.

"You just what?" Remus uttered dangerously calm and raised an eyebrow.

Sirius turned his head to the ground, yet again feeling like a little kid in front of Remus.

"What if I had bit one of those kids?" Remus' tone had begun to rise, but he managed to keep it under control with much effort, "Do you even-" He said but his voice faltered and broke pathetically, suddenly turning hoarse. "Do you have the slightest idea what kind of life this is?"

"Remus, we didn't mean to-" Sirius begged.

"Yeah, I know you didn't, but just so you know if it would have actually gone wrong, we would be having a much different conversation." The lycanthrope shut him up. "You two are… Why are you even doing this to each other, you're best friends. And since I care about both of you, it is just… let's just say if I had a favorite pony, you two would be chopping his head off." He allowed himself a small smile.

Peter chuckled and suddenly James and Sirius' glares were directed at him.

"Don't you glare at Peter, he's so far the most reasonable one here." Remus scolded and Peter stuck his tongue out at the guys proving the werewolf wrong. "So you're going to stay here and not come back until you are back to normal."

James and Sirius threw each other uncomfortable looks.

"I am not talking to him." Sirius pouted.

"Then I am not talking to you." Remus answered coldly.

"Oh yeah? And what are you going to do?" Sirius blurted out without thinking. "Create a loser club with your little Slytherin boyfriend?"

Remus' jaw dropped.

He breathed in sharply and tried to gather himself enough to answer.

"I will." Was all he said before snatching his shirt from the ground and storming out with Peter trailing closely behind him.

"What about Pomfrey?" The boy asked.

"I'll meet her in the castle. I'll think of something." Remus answered emotionlessly.

And Peter cringed at his expression.

III

James gawked at the wall in front of him trying to take in Sirius' words. Once he did, his fist found his own way to the guy's jaw.

Sirius straightened up after being hit, but didn't say anything just stared wide-eyed at the Potter boy.

The silence fell heavy upon them as both boys couldn't find the right words to express themselves.

"Ouch." Sirius concluded finally.

"You fucking deserved it, you idiot." James said and felt anger take over him just now. Previous action had almost been a natural reaction and now- now he felt adrenaline flood his veins urging him to fling himself at the guy in front of him again.

"I-" Sirius whispered, not really knowing how to finish the sentence.

"Get your head out of your jealous ass and go after him."James mumbled angrily.

"He… he won't listen." Sirius stumbled on his feet and after hitting a wall with his back, slid down to the ground.

"Of course, he will, he likes you, didn't we establish that yesterday?" James groaned.

"He- it's not possible, he likes Snivellus." Sirius shook violently, feeling the weight of his own words – all of his own words- come over him in a wave of pain.

"No he doesn't, how did you even come up with that?" James rolled his eyes impatiently.

"He… I saw them."

"What _exactly _did you see?" James asked, knowing full well that his friend tended to overreact sometimes. He knew that Snape and Remus were not a possibility and had never been- anyone with even a drop of common sense could see it.

"I saw them coming out of a broom closet together."

James rolled his eyes.

"They were probably testing what angle they have to tilt their wands for the spells to work the best in the dark. You know them, why would you jump to conclusions like that."

Sirius raised his hand to his face to cover his eyes, which were stinging really badly, though he didn't know why.

After a couple of moments James gave up. He sneered at the guy disdainfully.

"You know what? I never thought that you could sacrifice your friendship with Remus this easily. If a little jealousy wins over years' worth of companionship and admiration, then I am glad about what you said earlier- I don't want you to talk to me either."

And so Sirius was left alone.

And the words '_I would never give up our friendship. Not for anything'. _Seemed to be mocking him right now.


	22. How To Spell It Out

A/N: Here's another one for you! Hope you like it. Anyways, I just wanted to thank my amazing reviewers! Your comments always make my day and lately I've been needing some cheering up, so yeah- thank you!I love each and every one of you ;)*

I would like to take time to write a very very special thanks to TechNomaNcer28, who managed to review almost every single one chapter (your reviews are my inspiration) =^.^= Your constant reviewing gives me the motivation to write and update- however infrequently I do it.

Also, GixieChic and soniakay shouldn't be forgotten either as they were both one of the very first (Both one of the very first? Well, you get what I mean) readers! Thanks for getting me started!

Sorry for the long note, but I had to write this down, I really did.

* * *

I

Lily watched Sirius stumble out of the dorms with dark circles under his eyes. She cringed at the sight and found herself feeling extremely sorry for the guy, who only threw a broken look at Remus, sleeping on the common room couch and made his way to the exit, not even noticing James glaring nastily at him.

"James, stop it." She hissed.

"Why should I?" James snapped.

"He obviously feels bad enough as it is." Lily whimpered, touching James' shoulder gently.

"Yeah, well, not bad enough to apologize." James shrugged her hand off and she felt cold run down her body at this movement.

"It's more complicated than that." She tried saying but he only frowned and turned away.

"He's the one who is making it complicated! If you like someone you tell them, that's all there is to it. And all this time he's been dancing around this, because he's a coward, which ended up screwing up their and our friendship. And now what?! He dares to go round as if he's the victim and as if it's not his own fault!" He gritted out, trying to keep his voice low enough not to attract any attention.

"Everybody's afraid of rejection." Lily reasoned reaching out to touch James' arm but pulling away the last second.

"Yes." He said simply, turning back around and looking into her eyes seriously. "Everybody is. But there's nothing you can do about it. You get rejected and decide that they're worth fighting for and try again." His voice was low and a shiver ran down Lily's spine, as she felt that they were not just talking about Sirius and Remus anymore.

"Doesn't it hurt?" She asked.

"It does. Like a little bi-"

"James!"

"Eh- like a lot. But sometimes that's the only way. Especially if there's even a small glimmer of hope, then it's all worth it."He smiled at her calmly. There was something in his eyes- as if he knew something. His eyes shone with gentleness and admiration and for the first time she felt helpless under his gaze. She suddenly realized how long it has been since James last said anything related to the two of them. And her heart dropped.

"James-"

"I know, I know. But, Evans, I haven't given up just yet." He laughed lightheartedly.

"James-"

"So that's why I'm so angry with him- as if the whole world should feel sorry for him, though he hasn't even tried yet." James huffed.

"James." Lily sighed and shook her head smiling gently.

"One day he's going to thank me for not encouraging his self pity, you know." He grumbled stubbornly.

"I'm sure he will."

"I'm going to ignore him, so he knows that he's wrong." James stated as if it was the best plan in the whole wide world.

"How exactly is that going to work if he's already ignoring _you_?" She asked warily.

"Uh." James face looked as if he had been hit by a sudden realization. "Oh."

"Yeah." She chuckled.

"Well- I'm going to ignore him stronger than he ignores me!" James exclaimed.

"Yeah, you do that." Lily rolled her eyes smiling.

She didn't know why but she was feeling oddly affected by the guy in front of her. She found the childish pout he was now giving her extremely cute and his stubborn behavior immensely attractive.

And the words he said earlier- she finally saw that his efforts to get her had never really been just a shallow ambition.

Before Lily knew her arms were wrapped around his torso in a tight grip.

"L-lily?" She heard him choke out and buried her head in his chest deeper.

"Thank you." She said.

"Huh?" James murmured confused. His body was completely still and his voice was shaking slightly.

"For not giving up. Thank you." She laughed, something unbearably light bubbling at the top of her stomach.

He stood there frozen for a couple more moments, before his hand reached out to pull her closer.

II

'Am I seeing what you're seeing?' A very sleepy werewolf with an aching neck tried to ask Peter, who was standing behind the hugging couple on the staircase, with his eyes.

Peter nodded looking just as bewildered as Remus felt.

'Holy shit.' The lycanthrope mouthed out and Peter nodded again.

Remus nodded discretely towards the door and they both started walking, on their way glaring at the people who were gawking at their friends with no shame whatsoever.

Once they were out in the hallway Peter cursed.

"Okay, it was not my eyes playing tricks on me, right?"

"No." Remus shook his head and they smiled at each other conspiratorially.

"I never thought this day would come." Pete grinned.

"Neither did I, Wormtail, neither did I." The werewolf laughed and rubbed his eyes trying to chase away the leftover sleepiness.

A group of fourth year Ravenclaw girls giggled passing them by. Remus looked at them confused and then eyed his friend once again.

"Peter."

"Yeah?"

"You do know you're not wearing any pants?" Remus asked, trying not to laugh at his friend's boxer briefs.

"Huh?" Peter looked down as the realization hit him. "Goddamn! It's like second year all over again!" He yelled sprinting back to the dorms.

"Hey, at least they're clean this time!" Remus shouted after him. "Remotely clean that is." He added quietly chuckling to himself.

"Well isn't this a scene to start a morning with." Severus appeared out of nowhere, his eyes on Peter and filled with disgust.

"You have no idea." Remus laughed referring to James and Lily secretly.

Snape raised an eyebrow but didn't ask.

"Hm. Well, mind explaining why your Black friend looked ready to kill me when he passed me about ten minutes ago?" He wondered instead.

Remus' smile disappeared and Severus regretted mentioning it in the first place, when he saw the expression on the guy's face.

"I have no fucking idea." Remus stated frostily.

"Did you just swear?" Snape asked appalled.

"I actually do that quite more frequently than people think." The werewolf defended, though by the end of the sentence he realized that it was hardly something to be proud of.

"Right." Severus eyed him weirdly. "So, I guess it's none of my business and I'm going to regret asking, but what happened?"

Remus refused to feel bad about what Sirius said. He refused to be affected. He refused to feel painfully close to tears because Sirius had snapped at him like that. No. Oh hell no. He was simply offended and _angry_ beyond comprehension. Right, that's what he was, hence he put on his most careless face and pursed his lips slightly, turning his nose up.

"Nothing."

"Okay." Severus agreed, not really knowing whether or not he should press the matter further- arguments and relationship problems had never been his strong side.

"Well, I'm starving." Remus said happy about not having to explain and started walking, expecting the Slytherin to follow. But the guy stood not moving.

Severus was about to hit himself for what came next, he really was.

"Wait. Not okay." He found himself saying. "Black looked like he was ran over by a truck, stumbling lifelessly, only raising his eyes to glare at me and nothing else. Judging, by your clothes, you haven't had a chance to change- really you just look like a mess overall- meaning you probably didn't sleep in the dorms and, Lupin, you're _swearing_." Severus didn't even know he had noticed those things, but apparently he had and they were now coming out of his mouth on their own accord.

Remus gave Severus a weird glance.

"Yeah, since when do you care?" He asked, not really knowing why he was being so hostile.

Severus didn't took any offence though- quite the contrary he smiled timidly.

"I would like to know too."

"Leave it." The werewolf guy muttered tiredly, as his feelings were finally catching up to him and he didn't need a mental breakdown in the middle of the hallway.

"Sorry, you're going to have to tell me this time." Severus pressed on, somewhat willed by the look in Remus' eyes. He looked like he was hiding something behind the anger and the snappiness and when that something was to come out… let's just say it was not going to be pretty.

"No." Remus cut off.

"Hm. Okay, have it your way- I'll get it out of Evans." The Slytherin was not going to fight fair.

He really didn't know why he cared so much. Maybe because he felt guilty about harassing Remus before. Truthfully, it wasn't even Remus he was aiming at with his remarks- he knew that it was an easy shot; he got to annoy both, James and Sirius, to no end by terrorizing the one member of their group who wouldn't _really _fight back. He got to get on Sirius' last nerves with his comments secretly aimed at the guy's sexuality. He knew that attacking Remus was hitting Sirius' soft spot in more ways than just one. So he used it against Black. Remus was just an added bonus, not really all that important.

So when Remus had for some reason decided that he suddenly wanted to be friends, Severus couldn't fight the guilt. Especially when he realized the guy's intentions were actually pure. Not many people were willing to look past Severus' façade, so he regretted hurting one of those few who did.

Also, believe it or not, the word _friends_ didn't really make Severus all that sick anymore.

"Just stay out of it." Remus growled.

"Nope."

Who could have imagined Severus ever saying 'nope'?

"He said something, okay? So now I'm angry and he's angry. That's it." The werewolf sneered.

"Oh."

Severus knew that there had to be more. Remus didn't look _angry. _He looked _hurt._

"What did he say?"

And very much to Snape's amusement, the one and only Black managed to come out from around the corner, with perfect timing just like always and freeze still meeting Severus' eyes.

"I said that I wouldn't talk to him and he asked me if I was going to create a loser club with you." Remus said, not noticing Sirius, because he had his back turned to him.

Sirius stood there not saying anything just looking at the two of them.

And that was when Severus figured everything out.

Truthfully, he knew about Sirius' feeling for Remus for quite some time, he just figured that Remus knew about them as well, just chose to ignore them, being the good little Gryffindor that he was.

Judging from the werewolf's hurt expression that was not the case.

"Why don't we?" Severus laughed and took a step closer to the guy in front of him.

The expression on Sirius' face confirmed another one of Severus' suspicions.

"Huh?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing, nothing." The Slytherin shook his head smirking at Sirius evilly.

Once again he couldn't believe what he was about to do.

"Don't you get it?" He asked Remus.

"What?"

"He's just jealous."

"Huh?" Remus blinked gobsmacked.

"We've been spending a bit of time together and he's jealous." Severus almost started to feel sorry for Black- it couldn't have been easy going after someone this dense. The guy literally needed everything to be spelled out for him.

"So what now, I can't have other friends?" Remus asked and seeing Sirius open his mouth Severus cut him off quickly, before he could get Remus' attention.

"That's not it. I don't think he thinks we're friends." Severus chuckled at the thought.

How unbelievably stupid Gryffindors were after all.

"Hm?" The werewolf frowned, seemingly lost.

"Lupin."Snape rolled his eyes. This was certainly the last time he was being this nice to anyone- people were just too difficult. "Listen carefully. Black. Is. In. Love. With. You."

At that Snape saw Sirius try to take a step back with a stunned look in his eyes, but fail miserably, stumbling over his own feet and falling gracelessly on his rear end. Creating the loudest noise in Hogwarts History.

Well okay, maybe it was a bit off an exaggeration, but the fall was still loud enough to catch Remus' attention.

The lycanthrope spun around, his golden eyes meeting the scared grey ones.

As the boys stared at each other Severus' words seemed to be echoing around them.

Taking in Remus' shocked expression Sirius jumped back on his feet and did the only thing he could at the moment. He ran.

Remus didn't budge an inch- his brain not really functioning the way it was actually supposed to.

"Remus." Severus sighed annoyed. "This is where you run after him."

And after a minute or so and a not-so-gentle push on the back, Remus did. He did run after Sirius.

"Bleh. I just did Black a favor." Severus concluded with deep dissatisfaction.


	23. How To Make A Werewolf Climb A Tree

A/N: Ta-dah! Here it is! The final chapter! YEEEEY! I finished my first multi-chaptered story! YEEEEEEEEY! HAPPY DANCE TIME! Anyways, I'd like to thank those who read to the very end! Thank you for reading, following, favoriting and reviewing- I know for sure, that I would have never finished the story without the support I was given! I REALLY hope you enjoyed it. So yup.

For this is the final chapter, I would also like to apologize (hopefully without sounding as if I am looking for excuses) for any mistakes or grammar errors that I left behind- feel free to point them out. I'm not a native English speaker, so no matter how many times I read this through I can't be sure that I got everything right!

On to the story- I got the idea for this chapter from listening to Tom Odell's 'Hold Me'. Check the song out, it's amazing.

Sorry for the long note.

I

So Sirius was gone.

Shazam.

Disappeared.

Remus tried to follow him but somewhere along the way he lost him.

Needless to say Remus was overall lost. Lost lost.

Disorientated, not sure what was going on lost.

He replayed Sirius' reaction again and again, but didn't manage to come up with any interpretations of what it was really.

He had put his last hopes of finding Sirius into this room and was disappointed greatly.

"James, have you seen, Sirius?" He asked his friend, who was sitting with Lily in the Great Hall, eating breakfast.

"No, why?" James asked.

"No reason." Remus murmured quickly and turned around to leave.

"Remus, what happened?" Lily stopped him, taking in his disheveled hair concerned expression.

"I just need to talk to him is all." The werewolf shrugged and tried to walk away again.

"Why?" James asked as Lily's suspicion rubbed off on him.

"Because I do." Remus grunted annoyed.

"Yeah, okay, something happened. The question is what." Lily said and the couple both narrowed their eyes looking at the lycanthrope.

"Nothing, okay? I really need to go." Remus didn't really have time for stupid conversations right now. He firmly turned around and ignoring his friends words darted through the door, thinking of every possible location Sirius could be.

Once he exited the Great Hall he was pushed against the wall and held firmly by a very determined looking James. Lily was standing behind him.

"What happened, Remus?"

"Nothing." Remus gritted out struggling to free himself.

"So one minute you're not even speaking to him and next you're running around the castle looking for him. And nothing happened." Lily raised an eyebrow.

Remus met his friends challenging eyes. There was something weird about their behavior. Since when did Lily care so much about Sirius and his relationship?

He looked at them for a while and given the time to slow down he finally started thinking clearly. He let himself humor the possibility of Severus' words being truth.

And then-

"Wait a second." Remus eyes widened as he stopped struggling and fell completely still.

"What?" James released him and took a step back.

"Why?" The werewolf gasped out like a fish thrown out of water.

"Why…what?"

"Why the Magnetizing potion?"

"What does this have to do…oh." Lily started and fell silent suddenly mimicking the shocked look on Remus' face.

"Huh?" James' eyes darted between them.

"He told you?" Lily asked the werewolf slowly, as if disbelieving.

"No, but I believe you just did." Remus muttered breathlessly.

II

Sirius was sitting in a tree. His hands, holding a bottle of Firewhiskey, which had been there, because this was his most secret hiding place, were all scratched up from the branches and the wintery wind was biting his skin painfully through the school robes.

He had almost fallen four times trying go up the ice-covered plant, but luckily enough he was now at the very top off it silently watching the scenery, thinking everything over.

Maybe running wasn't the best idea, but that was what Sirius did. The moment he felt everything falling apart he ran. He was created that way. Well, not exactly- the moment he felt _his life_ falling apart he ran. He could stand up for someone else, for what he believed in, but when it came to things that he had no control over, when it came to his feelings or being vulnerable, he had no idea how to deal.

So where he was. Freezing his butt off, drinking and avoiding the inevitable.

Sirius tried to erase the golden eyed look he was given from his mind. Tried not to remember what Remus had looked like when he found out. Needless to say, he wasn't doing such a great job.

He had been ripped off his only escape. No way could he play it off as a joke now. Maybe, if he had stayed, but his primary instinct to run had ruined that too. And it was completely terrifying. Being laid bare like that, in front of the last person he wanted to know. You see, Remus _was _probably the only one holding all the power in the world to completely ruin Sirius. Like nothing or no one ever had.

It was one thing to try to show your feelings towards someone- slowly, at your own pace, with a way out if everything goes- and entirely different to be dragged out in front of that someone with a stamp on your head – 'I love you, break my heart if you please.'

Sirius much rather would have spent the rest of his miserable life pinning after Remus, even if he could never have him, than lose him right now. Mostly because Remus was a friend, someone who had always been there if he needed to talk, someone who was concerned for Sirius and as selfish as it sounded Sirius needed it.

He also wanted to be near. To protect. Even if it meant silently watching over him, while he falls in love with some stupid greasy headed Slytherin.

"Goddamn it." He murmured taking a large sip of the alcoholic drink and looking down to the ground far beneath him.

For one brief moment he wondered if he would die if he fell.

"Yeah, right, that would certainly make my mommy dearest happy." He laughed, noting that he would make sure to get to the ground safe if only for the reason of not pleasing his parents.

"Sirius!" He heard a distant voice call and cursed.

He could recognize James. He swore at himself for thinking that that no one could find him here. He didn't know how James had found out about the place, quite a bit into the forest walking from the Shrieking Shack, but he knew for sure that it could have been avoided. After all he did think he saw someone move that one time when he went here.

"Sirius!"

"Bloody hell." Sirius whined as he recognized Remus' voice.

"SIRIUS!"

Lily. Of course. What gave her the right to sound this angry again?

The good thing was that if they were yelling, they had no idea where he was precisely. He was going to just sit here quietly and wait for them to go away. They would… eventually.

"Goddamn it, Sirius!" Remus hollered and Sirius cringed.

"SIRIUS!" James screamed.

"SIRIUS BLACK, YOU ANSWER ME THIS SECOND!"

"Yeah, sure, Lily, I'm not answering him, but you- why of course." Sirius rolled his eyes taking yet another big sip from the bottle.

"Sirius, please!" Remus' voice was getting closer and Sirius drew his legs to his chest, wishing he could cover his ears- but if it had to be the choice between that and the bottle, the bottle was going to win.

"Hey, we're going this way, you go that way! If you find him send some red sparks to let us know!" He heard James' voice yell a bit farther away.

"Okay!" Remus answered, getting closer again. "Sirius!"

"Sirius!" James and Lily's shouts were disappearing into the distance.

"SIRIUS, BLOODY HELL! ANSWER ME THIS SECOND!"

Well, the werewolf just lost his patience. Good, maybe he would go away now.

"IF I GET A COLD BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR STUPIDITY, SIRIUS, YOU'RE SOOO GETTING IT!"

Sirius didn't see how that was a bad thing and anyways- he wasn't coming down, like ever, so Remus' threats were not really worth much.

"Okay, stay quiet, whatever! See how long this takes us both!" The lycanthrope's voice huffed loudly, making Sirius realize that he probably knew about his lack of proper clothing.

"SIRIUS!" Remus yelled at the top of his lungs.

Sirius sighed and raised the bottle to his lips. The Firewhiskey was warming him up, or at least that's what it felt like.

"Sirius, if you can hear me, you are a bloody idiot!"

Sirius was an idiot, that much he could admit.

"You'll have to come down sooner or later!"

No, he didn't.

"COME ON!"

Sirius flinched feeling his heart rate pick up as he realized Remus was right below him.

"FINE! I'm just going to sit here and wait for you to come down! If you can hear me, you can watch me freeze to death! And it's going to be all YOUR fault!"

Did Remus just? Yes, goddamn it, he just sat down right below the tree Sirius was in. Just his luck. Sirius peeked down at the werewolf boy sitting on the ground with his hands and legs crossed stubbornly.

"Well, shit." Sirius whispered and tried to lean forward to take a better look. He grabbed a branch to keep himself steady, but unfortunately the thing broke, making the loudest noise possible.

Sirius stumbled to keep himself from falling and luckily enough he managed to do so. He even managed to keep the bottle in his hand.

"Ah-ha! SIRIUS! I knew I saw something!"

Sirius tried to talk himself out of looking down, but he knew it wouldn't change much, so in the end he glanced down at Remus, who was now on his feet with a winning look on his face.

"Sirius!"

Sirius gulped down as their eyes met. The distance between them didn't save him from the taunting gold.

"What?!"

"Come down!" Remus ordered.

"No!"

"Sirius!" The werewolf cried indignantly.

"Leave me alone!" Sirius yelled and sat down in a way that they could no longer see each other.

"I'm not going anywhere, until you come down!"

"When I guess we're sleeping here!" Sirius tried to sound as nonchalant as he could. He took another gulp of alcohol and noticed surprised that there was only one sip left. He had officially failed to drown his worries.

"YOU BASTARD!" He heard Remus holler and cringed.

Sirius felt a tear run down his cheek.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"REALLY?! YOU CAN'T JUST- oh fucking great!" The werewolf swore and Sirius heard some shuffling going on. "Hey, Sirius, I cannot believe you're making me do this! You know how much I HATE climbing trees!"

Oh no. No. NO, NO, NO!

Sirius leaned over and saw Remus trying to get on the lowest branch.

"I KNOW! THAT'S KIND OFF THE POINT! GET DOWN!" Sirius screamed, frantic to keep the distance.

"Oh great, Sirius! If you want me to talk to you ever again, I suggest you shut up! First I'm a loser and now this!" Remus groaned angrily.

Sirius was actually considering saying something else just to avoid facing this, but that would kind of defeat the purpose, right? Pushing Remus away, when he wanted the opposite.

He watched the guy struggle, defeating one branch at a time and felt his stomach churn.

Why was Remus even here?

Once the guy was about a meter away, Sirius finished off the Firewhiskey, letting the bottle fall down. He held onto the tree trunk, trying to keep himself put. He mustered the last bits of courage within himself to face this.

"Sirius, why are you hugging the tree?" He heard and opened his eyes, not even knowing when exactly had he shut them fearfully.

"Oh, well… I…"

"And was that a Firewhiskey bottle I saw?"

Sirius took in the reddened cheeks, the raised eyebrow and the golden eyes and felt a lump form in the back of his throat.

"M-maybe." He stuttered out.

Remus looked at him for a while. Then he sat down straddling the branch instead of squatting down on it.

"Sirius?" He asked gently and Sirius couldn't handle the solemn stare any longer.

"I-I'm sorry." He said hiding his face in his hands.

"What for?"

"I just-" He tried to say but didn't really know how to finish.

He felt the heartbreak coming on. And maybe it was the mix of alcohol and Remus' presence next to him that made yet another tear escape from his eyes.

"Sirius-"

"I'm really sorry."

He heard movement and a warm hand wrapped his wrist tugging on it softly to get his hand away from his face.

"Why the hell are you crying?" Remus blurted out, obviously lost, not knowing how to deal with tears.

"Sorry." Sirius chuckled humorlessly and wiped his eyes clumsily, bending his head down to hide behind his hair.

"Sirius." Remus groaned breathlessly.

"I really am sorry."

"Sirius, stop apologizing."

"I just want you to forgive me."

"For what?" Remus sighed sounding agitated.

"You know what." Sirius mumbled, hearing himself that he was sounding like a kid.

"Do I?" The werewolf mused somewhat thoughtfully.

Sirius' head shot up at that. He took in the golden eyes shining gently. And the hand that was still on his wrist making it tingle. And it just left his mouth before he could actually realize what it meant.

"I love you."

"Good."

Remus' lips were on Sirius' before either of them could blink. And Sirius felt like falling. He sat there frozen, not really getting what was going on and only when Remus bit softly at his lower lip did he snap out of his daze kissing back with everything he had.

Remus grinned at that and pulled away.

"I'll ask you to repeat that when you're sober."

"I am so-"

Did Remus listen? Not really. But Sirius couldn't complain as he was silenced in quite a pleasant way.

As the werewolf's hand tangled up in his hair and he was pushed against the tree trunk firmly, he realized what was actually happening.

"W-wait!" He muffled, using the last bits of self control to pull away.

"Yeah?" Remus breathed out, his voice husky and uneven.

"Wh-what… I mean why… I mean-"

"Hm. I was kind of wondering myself." Was all Remus said before pressing himself against Sirius again.

Not really knowing how to pull away again, Sirius gave up and clung to the guy with all the strength he could muster.

"Sirius, you're freezi-"

"No, I'm not."

"Hmm."

Sirius smiled happily against Remus mouth, deciding to enjoy the moment whether it would last or not. He let all the pent up need spill out pressing their bodies as close as humanly possible.

"Sirius, if we fall-"

"Just stay quiet for a bit, Moony."

And even if this was an act of pity, Sirius had never felt better. He held onto the moment, trying to permanently etch the taste and feel of the werewolf's lips into his mind, to tattoo the touches onto his skin, to turn the sharp gasps of air into a melody he could never forget.

"Sirius." Remus pulled away, much to Sirius' discontentment.

"Hm?"

"We're going to be fine, aren't we?"

Sirius mulled the words over and felt the worry creep back into his mind. He didn't know. He didn't know what Remus meant. What this meant. What it meant for them and for their future. He didn't know. He didn't know whether they were going to be fine. All he wanted to do was feel Remus' lips again- with no answer, no reason and no concern.

"Are we?" He wondered quietly and looked into the golden eyes which were searching his.

"Sirius?"

"What is this?" Sirius found himself asking, with all his insecurities in the open.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you here? Why are you kissing me?"

The werewolf looked thrown aback.

"Why?" Sirius pressed on.

"Because I think I'm in love with you."

Sirius let himself believe that. Mainly, because he felt like he was in heaven and who was he, to pass an opportunity of feeling like that?

"But it could be just my fear of heights, ask me again when we're on the ground." Remus whispered jokingly into Sirius's ear before pressing his lips down on his neck.

"I will."

III

"Do you know how long we waited for you?"

"Do you have any idea how many lessons I skipped?"

Lily and James said at the same time. Or more accurately croaked. They were both bundled up in blankets in the common room, with cups of tea in their hands, coughing their lungs out.

"How did you manage not to catch a cold? This is sooo unfair." James whined childishly.

Remus and Sirius looked at each other grinning widely.

"It was warm." They replied simultaneously, making Peter laugh.

Lily and James rolled their eyes and exchanged knowing glances.

Somewhere in the castle Severus went to bed, knowing that he had Black _seriously_ (yes, my friends, I did) indebted to him.

All was well.

THE END


	24. L'épilogue or How The Feeling's Mutual

"Are you sure?!"

"NOOOO! THAT CAN'T BE TRUE!"

"I can't believe it!"

Snape tried to ignore them, he really did.

"But whyyy?!"

"Yeah, I thought he said-"

"I knooow!"

"It's true then- all the good ones are either taken or –"

"Both in this case, I guess!"

Why the teacher didn't do anything about the chattering girls, was beyond Severus.

"Hmm, I wonder…-"

Severus rubbed his temples tiredly, praying for the girls to shut up for one minute.

"I wonder, which one of them- well you know."

A short silence followed and the girls broke out into a fit of giggles.

"Stacy, you nasty girl!"

"Oh god! I didn't even think of that!"

"So?"

"Well, I can't really imagine any of the Blacks lying beneath somebody."

"True, but Sirius has always been different, right? I mean the guy's a Gryffindor."

"So what? Remus is in Gryffindor too!"

"Yeah, but Remus has this sort of calm masculine aura around him!"

"He so does not! I mean Sirius has more of a masculine personality! Look at all the girls-"

"And now we know it was just a show, so it doesn't prove anything!"

Severus sat there completely dumbfounded. What were they talki-

"It so does! I mean it clearly means that he at least theoretically likes sticking his-"

OH. OOOOH!

Oh hell no.

"Would you shut up!" Severus growled turning around and the girls froze stunned.

He gave them a dangerous look and turned back to his assignment.

"It's Snape, isn't it?"

Did they really think that counted as a whisper?

"Yeah, you know what?"

"I heard he's Lupin's ex!"

Severus felt a chill run down his body at that. What was _wrong_ with these people?!

"Well that settles it, Remus clearly likes to be the man in the relationship!"

He slammed his head down onto the table forcefully and then after giving himself a couple of seconds to recover quickly threw everything into his bag and stormed out of the classroom.

Obviously, no one tried to stop him, as Professor Bins didn't even notice his absence- or anyone's absence- in the first place.

Severus Snape was not a patient person. He had never been. So a week of these chatters and rumors and everything left him going crazy. And the worst part- he kind of brought it on himself.

Yes, definitely the last time he helps someone.

So strode quickly towards the library- as long as he wasn't in the lesson, he could at least spend the time usefully. He received an evil look from Madam Pince upon entering the library and making a tiny bit of noise by closing the door.

Once the woman couldn't see he threw her one of those looks back.

He hurried to the third shelf on his right, where he knew that one book he wanted to read but didn't have time to (with N.E.W.T.s coming and everything) was.

"Okay," He murmured quietly going through the covers with his finger.

"Hello, Severus." He was startled by a voice.

He looked to the ground end realized he didn't notice two boys sitting on the ground previously.

Remus was holding a book and Sirius was lying with his head in Remus' lap and playing with the hem of the guy's shirt absentmindedly.

"Hi." Severus answered coldly, because really- they were the ones responsible for the entire ruckus in school.

Remus raised an eyebrow at that and a 'sorry' almost slipped Severus' mouth. Almost.

"What are you doing here?" He asked instead, a bit more relaxed.

The boys looked at each other and Sirius chuckled.

"Hiding, mostly. Well, he's reading, but I'm just here because the girls have been terrorizing us lately." Sirius answered with a smile, throwing Severus back.

Talk about an attitude change.

"Tell me about it." Snape shivered remembering the conversation.

"Hm?" Remus hummed and Severus wondered if he even noticed that his hand was running through Black's hair.

"Trust me, you don't want to know and neither do I." Severus pressed his lips together disapprovingly.

"I suppose you're right." Remus laughed and from the looks on both of their faces Severus suspected that he wasn't the only one who had been in some way a part of similar conversations.

Suddenly, he noticed Remus swatting away Black's hand which was running up his shirt almost unconsciously and felt like he was intruding something personal.

He was about to excuse himself when they heard the door opening and a group of females gushing in clattering like children.

"Maybe they're here."

"Maybe. I mean they could at least answer us, is that so hard?"

"Excuse me, have you maybe seen two Gryffindor boys around here? One of them has dark ha-"

"This is a library." They heard Madam Pince grit out. "The only thing there is to see around here is _books!"_

"Well, it's our cue to leave." Remus whispered carefully pushing Sirius off his lap and standing up, which resulted in Black whining wounded.

"Shh, do you want them to find us, Sirius?" Remus groaned to that.

"No, but you don't have to be mean." Sirius pouted jumping to his feet.

"Don't be childish, that was far from mean and you know it." Remus rolled his eyes making Sirius pout more.

"Anyways, we'll be going now, Severus." Remus smiled at Snape and hesitated before adding. "Sorry, about this."

Snape shrugged nonchalantly, because deep deep dow, very very deep deep down he might have possibly maybe kind of known that it couldn't be helped.

The boys turned to leave but Sirius stopped.

"You go, I'll catch up in a second." He said to Remus.

The werewolf looked at him confused but shrugged it off and nodded nonetheless.

When Remus was out of sight Sirius turned to Severus with a contemplating look on his face.

"Thank you." He said slowly. It sounded like he was forcing it, but nonetheless genuine.

Severus eyed him strangely.

"Never thought the day would come, Black." He smirked.

"Neither did I."

The boys stood in silence for a while awkwardly.

"You might be not as bad as I thought you were." Sirius huffed looking around.

"I'm sure that doesn't say all that much." Severus laughed surprising them both.

"Yeah, I guess." Sirius grinned. "I still hate your guts."

"The feelings mutual, Black and I wouldn't have it any other way." Snape answered simply.

"Well…"

"Well you better go, Black, I swear I heard Jorkins going on about how he just _knew. _Careful, I don't think he's the kind to give up easily." Severus smirked at the alarmed look on Sirius' face.

"I gotta run. Bye."

Severus allowed himself to laugh at Sirius hurrying off.

He didn't actually hear Jorkins say anything. In fact, he saw the guy with his tongue shoved down Amanda Brown's throat. He simply enjoyed watching Sirius squirm. He also kind of liked bruises on Black's face.

Because at the end of the day, Black was Black and the feeling really was mutual.

"Wait, is that Snape?" He heard some girl whisper and his smirk fell.

"Yeah, wasn't he Remus' previous boyfr-"

Well Goddamn it. He hated this school sometimes, he really did.


End file.
